Riding the wave of hope
That all too familiar part of the journey is back again. Our donor had her egg retrieval yesterday. They retrieved 43 eggs, 40 which were viable, and we received 20!! I could not believe it. We found out today that 14 fertilized normally. I am extremely hopeful as I always am at this stage. This is where anything can happen. The path can continue looking up. Maybe all 14 fertilize and we're stuck with some difficult decisions about how to handle the extra embryos. Or, maybe we slowly and painfully transfer each embryo back with further heartbreaking news of failed betas. Of course, because I'm insane, am riding the wave of hope. I am looking at this as a brand new cycle. A donor egg and donor sperm that are both proven. I am still sad that there will be zero DNA from my husband and I, but if I actually look at two pink lines I have a feeling that all of that will disappear. When we got pregnant in June of 2014 it was unbelievable how suddenly the pain from the previous two years had suddenly been wiped away. We will get one more fertilization report tomorrow and then no more news until our transfer this Tuesday.
I just got back from Ocean City, NJ this morning. I spent two days there with my mom and we had such a nice time. Growing up, we spent every summer vacation in OCNJ. It gives me a feeling of comfort and home. It was nice getting the news about how many eggs we received while being there. We relaxed and read books on the beach, ate a ton of seafood, and walked the boardwalk. While on the boardwalk I found a simple mantra bracelet that says "Enjoy the Journey". I bought it as a reminder that no matter how this cycle turns out I WILL have a life full of love, adventure, and joy. I want my life's journey to be positive and meaningful. I don't want to dwell on the fact that I can't have children. The little bracelet is a reminder to "find joy in your life and cherish every moment. Because in the end, it's the journey that matters. Enjoy your journey." That's the little saying on the box it comes in. I thought it was very fitting. Happy Friday! xoxo
Replies
Wowsers! 43 eggs? Was she a chicken? :)
Riding the wave of hope is exactly what you should be doing. If you didn't have any hope left, you wouldn't be doing this. It is what keeps us going, and hopefully what will get us to where we want to be. I feel so excited for you right now and am praying that this will finally be it for you. Sending lot of love to you!
TWENTY EGGS? Holy cow. Or...chicken lol. Sounds like your head and embies are in a good place. And yes, the ONLY reason I am ever on DS anymore is to stalk you :)
Great numbers! There is a study on epigenics that a lot of gals in the donor egg group have read. You actually do have a say in which genes are expressed and some of your DNA is present in your child even when you use a donor egg. It always made me feel better after reading about it. Good luck to you! So excited to read such great news!
I am so excited and hopeful for you! Your optimism and positive attitude are what make you such a great person! I admire the fact that you don't let the experience jade you. You deserve happiness, and I am confident that you will have happiness no matter what.