Riding the Storm Out
It is so bizarre how quickly things can change, my mood, my perspective. I found something on FaceBook called your Facebook movie...it takes your 1st 4 years on facebook and picks out most liked pictures and posts. Of course my daughter played a huge part in my "facebook movie"...a couple of posts... one was about a tumor on her ovary. Two years ago Cassi had emergency surgery...her firends had taken her to the emergency room, she was in severe pain. The first 2 (male) doctors tried to blow her off. I am not kidding. She was finally seen by a female gynecologist who ordered an ultrasound and found a tumor on her ovary the size of a softball. It had it's own blood supply and had cut off the blood supply to the ovary. If it had ruptured she could have bled to death internally. The gynecologist took her into surgery. The tumor had cut off the blood supply to the ovary and it could not be saved, so it was removed. The tumor was analyzed and found to be benign...I posted that information along with how grateful and relieved we were...sigh...another post was from last year...I was bragging...Cassi had graduated from college, found an apartment and a job in her field and was refusing any financial help from us...I was proud.
What a difference a year makes...
Do you ever feel like everyone else in the world has their shit together??? They know what they are doing???
Two steps forward and one step back...if I am lucky...oh my baby, my baby...
What a difference a year makes...
Do you ever feel like everyone else in the world has their shit together??? They know what they are doing???
Two steps forward and one step back...if I am lucky...oh my baby, my baby...
Replies
Wow, I can identify with Cassi and ovarian problems. Just a year prior to my Jason\'s birth, I had major sx to remove 1/2 of one ovary and 1/8th of the other due to cysts. Later, I had to have another surgery, but by then, they could do it through my belly button.
I don\'t think that I ever feel that the majority has their \"shit\" together. I question it so much because it seems like I have made a lot of wrong decisions, but I see others who made decisions and it worked out favorably for them. Maybe it is all in the luck of the draw HAHA. Of course, we need to make wise decisions. I guess I have not been all that wise. But two steps further for one back keeps you one step ahead :-)
Peace.
Yes looking back can give us such a different prospective. What is the saying, hind sight is 20/20. If we only knew. Hugs to you, Kathy
I never thought of what you just wrote about . i don,t think. I don,t think I remember mush of anything thoose first 2 years. yea these Drs don,t have their shit together. They killed my daughter poor medical decision,s. they did with me to. It,s good Cassie saw that female Dr. I never go to Drs unless I have to and then I get so scared. Well better close bless your angel . hugs and love mary ann
Sometimes, I think everybody has their \"shit\" together, better than I do.
Three years ago, I had a son who loved me, unconditionally. Now, I think I took that for granted. Oh, how I wish I could hold him and tell him how much I love him. Oh, for just one more chance......
I have come to realize that nobody has their shit together. Some are capable of great bravado.
Dear Gina ~ Nobody has anything together. Be gentle with yourself in the extremely long and never ending journey. You will always be in the situation of one step forward, two steps back. I am six years into this and some days it feels like it was just a moment ago. I do know I will NEVER ever be the person I was before, these things change you. Follow your new path and watch for signs from Cassie.
No one has their shit together....if they say they do they are lying....one day at a time...sometimes one second at a time.....some days we feel like \"the shits\"..some days we r giving \"shit\"...but NO ONE has their shit together....(((hugs)) Vicki
One day my shit\'s together, the next day.....it\'s just SHIT! Guess that\'s just the way of life as a human.
Love you!
Love to Cassi!
Yes, if I knew then what I know now.... And no, I do not feel that everyone has their shit together! What Teri just said... Love to you and CASSI.
I ditto Teri... Shits together, next it hits the fan !!! Lol
I\'m trying to learn to duck
As they say, Shit Happens. I think we all wonder if it is only us, at least I do. I sometimes have to read through journals to see that I am not the only mom riding this shitty roller coaster!
Hang in my friend.
Love and hugs,
Marlene
There\'s no such thing as \'together\'. Life is a journey, a series of events, conversations, opportunities, and challenges. There\'s no stopping point to put things in a state of \'together\'. We\'re just along for a ride. I think that\'s why I\'m trying so hard to be in the moment, as the saying goes. Just be in the moment. Things will change in the next moment, that\'s for sure.
I will never forget in one of my Al-Anon meetings hearing something that went like this: \"We think we know everyone\'s insides by judging their outsides.\" I am not saying it as eloquently as it was stated, yet it made me stop and realize that all the people that I was looking at and they seemed so together were just in as much of a chaotic mess inside as I was.
Yes, two steps forward, one back, yet always one step further along than we were yesterday. Just keep walking dearest Gina as you are and know that I walk beside you as do all of your sisters of the heart.
Loving care today and in the ones ahead,
XO Joanie
Holding your hand, dear new friend. The first few months of this grief journey, all one\'s energy is used on putting on shoes and leaving the house. Just exhausting to conquer this. My elder son, 43, has died four years ago. We are different people now, our whole family has changed.
Please, sweetie, take good care of yourself. Eat well, take walks, and get good sleep. See drs. if they can help. Remember we are walking with you, parents with dead children, we are a very special group and you are very welcome. Love, Abby
Gina, I used to feel that most people had stress-free lives and everything came up roses for them. Sometimes I still feel that way. But we never know what really goes on behind closed doors. A friend once told me \"everyone has a story in this naked city.\" It made me change my perspective somewhat.
As long as we keep making that one step forward through the muck and the mire, we will reach a more solid ground.
Love and Peace,
Diane