riding out the bad feelings
I had some discomforting memories today and they resulted in my fixating on them -
feeling humiliated - and then ridiculous. I can't talk about the details because I really don't want to,
but here I am now, dealing with the way I feel - just kind of empty and at a loss.
Even though I don't feel so worthy, I realize I kind of have to ride out the bad feelings.
Part of me - wants to eat or drink or do something to fill myself up - part of me wonders of whether I should pray or go to yoga. How will I feel valuable again? I just need to believe. I've made mistakes. I don't know how people do it. Day in and out. Again maybe this is me trying to find a focus in the solitude...maybe I can direct myself towards being productive rather than churn. Sending a prayer up - and sending good kharma and appreciation out ot you guys. Peace and namaste!
Replies
"Reframing" has been on my mind in recent days. I, too, have been addled with discomforting memories I have a long herstory of fixating on. Memories of the reframing tools I learned in psychotherapy have been bubbling up with them. Reframing is where, instead of trying to get the memory out of my head, I work on finding new ways to think about those memories, bit by bit, word by word. I use foreign language to help me with reframing. Translating the repetitive thoughts into my weakest language often helps me get back to basics so that I can start over with a fresher canvas.
I don't believe too many people ^do it^ any more easily than you or I. Every life has its challenges. Most of us try not to air our dirty laundry in public, so inside info is pretty hard to come by. Is it unforgivably mean that I tend to move a seat or two over from the people who are too free and easy with their inside info?
Thanks Arfie. Sharing can be hard.