Rethinking my concept of God

I realized recently that a lot of my misery and shame came from my view of God. In my head God was alternatingly punitive and indifferent.

I realize that maybe that stems from my relationship with my dad and other authority figures.

I don't want it anymore and and I'm broadening my view of him as someone that is on my side and who lives within me. Occasionally I'm imagine God as a woman and that helps reduce the distance a little.