rest, relaxation

the day required me to take care of myself in earnest

when i got home from work. I was tired, I had driven haphazardly

because I was so fatigued, it was kind of scary and then also my vision was kind of blurry

and i was dropping things, which is a sign of fatigue for me.

l went out for a walk but that seemed too painful as well.

I drove to the starbucks and just sat and had a matcha latte.

It was nice. Even the barista said to me "you need some rest."

It was worrisome, when I got home, how tired I was. My mind started to

want to point fingers but I knew that would serve no end. 

I was thinking about calling out tomorrow at work - but instead I decided

to just stick closely to my routines that I have in order to maximize the rest

and also have reliably all the things of life taken care of and ready for the following

day. Those little routines I have made for myself really are useful. They keep me

on target in life - and especially today, since I feel so out of it - they make me

feel like I am taking care of myself and nursing myself in the best possible way.

I think at times there is a kind of bravado I have about how I want or hope to live in life.

I think that's kind of my own folly. Quiet confidence, humility and taking care of what I 

need to take care of - and respecting that in others is what I will focus on.

I'll meet with my therapist tomorrow to talk about a direction to go in if I am still

feeling so foggy, tired and blurry visioned.

Have a good night you guys!

Here's to good health for us all. Your health is your wealth.

peace,

Mark