Repeating bad behaviors...

Well, I had a relapse today and feel very bad about it right now. I had done so well with staying away at the beginning, actually for quite a few months at a time. . . Somehow, like I have heard said many times, I convinced myself that I was, in fact, CURED.  Guess what - I am not cured and never will be.  Right now I feel so ashamed and bad that I never want to see a gambling facility again - EVER.  Too dangerous for me and many others... what happened recently is that I've become acquainted with a friend at work who I admire and respect.  We have a lot of fun together & I guess we thought we could keep eachother in line and on track; needless to say, that didn't happen!!  The thing is that logically, I know what's right and wrong, and how much better my life has been without gambling... I experienced it first hand!!  And when I am fully in recovery I love it - I feel soo much better and things just improve all the way around in my life.  Why, then, do I insist on going back and throwing myself into the pit again???   I'm just so confused when I think about it - - - I become a different person... the me I am in the casino is NOT the me I really want to be.  EAch time it happens to me, I ask myself what is wrong?  Why do I do it? I guess it really doesn't matter knowing the whys . . . they don't help me.  Now I just feel so sick that I don't know what to do.  I should correct that - I know what to do - STOP IT RIGHT NOW  - take one day at a time and change the course.   I know I can do it since I have before.  Everyone here has been so supportive and helpful... Maybe I will even try GA this time again... I hate relapsing and have to start over and over again.. this is about the lowest I've been... at least in a long, long time . . . .Back to Day 1 again tomorrow.