reminding myself of realities

I live alone, and I have to say though I get lonely sometimes, I am growing more and more

towards appreciating it and liking it.

The realities I am reminding me of is that all of us to a certain point have people or a person in our lives

who vexes us. We have to deal with them and it's an uncomfortable but maybe an athletic

state of mind of just having to deal with both sides of that person - one side can be nice

and generous and the other side...phew!

I found myself twisting a perverted shade of bruise blue green and purple in my mind this

morning while at work about it. I feel like I must be a bad person or perhaps to just

accept all sides to me as well (while keeping a healthy perspective.)

I can't wait to talk to my therapist as now in the present and because of interactions these, I fear the way I react

sometimes is overheated and I know I can benefit from a lense of looking at certain relationships

with calm generous eyes. Good thing I have therapy soon. I know from reading each others' posts

and journals about how relationships can really bog us down. Knowing I'm in good company

kind of helps - and keeps me from giving this vexing relationship too much power.

It's almost just confusing and not so angry making - but I suppose it's an all sides kind of

provoking thought bubble.