Remembering Colleen
Colleen was born exactly 9 months after her dad and I got married. She was so tiny, and she kept her eyes closed during the first week, just like a new born puppy and kitten. I had to stroke her little body with my hand, to encourage her to drink, because she kept falling asleep. I did not know what the term "Down Syndrome" meant.
Colleen was on the ventilator in ICU for the first time when she was 4 months old. She had pneumonia. That was the first time we almost lost her. The doctors told us that she would not live till her first birthday, because she had lung and heart problems. But I pleaded with God to save her life, and He did!
When she was 1 year and 2 months old, she had her heart operation. The specialist told us that she had a 50% chance to survive the operation, but without it, she would soon die. Her heart stopped a few times during the operation, but she made it! Again I prayed very anxiously to God to save her life, and He did!
At age 6, she had her tonsils removed, and also started attending a special needs school. But she could never learn to read or write. After 5 years at school, we took her out of school, due to her bad health.
When she was 10 years old, she had her hysterectomy, and they also removed her appendix. She was such a brave little girl! She recovered sooner than adult women do, and went back to being her active, happy little self!
Although Colleen spent about a third of her life in hospitals, she was always bubbling with happiness and pure love! Her speech was poor, but she had many conversations in her weird baby language with her imaginary friends. She loved music, Barney and Barbie movies, and most of all she enjoyed "drawing" pictures ( lines and circles). She was always so grateful when she received the smallest, simplest gifts!!
I knew, since her birth, that I would loose her some day, but I kept praying that I could have her with me for just a little while longer. I also asked the Lord to please take her Home before He takes me, because no-one else would be able to take good care of her. The night before she died, I told the Lord that I was ready to let Colleen go to Him, if it was His will, because my little girl was suffering terribly. At the hospital the ICU nurse told me to talk to Colleen, and tell her that it is o.k to go with Jesus, when He comes to fetch her. This was the hardest thing I ever did! Although she was unconscious, I believe that she heard me. A few hours later my baby girl died. My son, daughter and I was with her, she did not die alone. I miss her so much!!!
Colleen was on the ventilator in ICU for the first time when she was 4 months old. She had pneumonia. That was the first time we almost lost her. The doctors told us that she would not live till her first birthday, because she had lung and heart problems. But I pleaded with God to save her life, and He did!
When she was 1 year and 2 months old, she had her heart operation. The specialist told us that she had a 50% chance to survive the operation, but without it, she would soon die. Her heart stopped a few times during the operation, but she made it! Again I prayed very anxiously to God to save her life, and He did!
At age 6, she had her tonsils removed, and also started attending a special needs school. But she could never learn to read or write. After 5 years at school, we took her out of school, due to her bad health.
When she was 10 years old, she had her hysterectomy, and they also removed her appendix. She was such a brave little girl! She recovered sooner than adult women do, and went back to being her active, happy little self!
Although Colleen spent about a third of her life in hospitals, she was always bubbling with happiness and pure love! Her speech was poor, but she had many conversations in her weird baby language with her imaginary friends. She loved music, Barney and Barbie movies, and most of all she enjoyed "drawing" pictures ( lines and circles). She was always so grateful when she received the smallest, simplest gifts!!
I knew, since her birth, that I would loose her some day, but I kept praying that I could have her with me for just a little while longer. I also asked the Lord to please take her Home before He takes me, because no-one else would be able to take good care of her. The night before she died, I told the Lord that I was ready to let Colleen go to Him, if it was His will, because my little girl was suffering terribly. At the hospital the ICU nurse told me to talk to Colleen, and tell her that it is o.k to go with Jesus, when He comes to fetch her. This was the hardest thing I ever did! Although she was unconscious, I believe that she heard me. A few hours later my baby girl died. My son, daughter and I was with her, she did not die alone. I miss her so much!!!
Replies
oh... thank you for sharing Colleen... what a beautiful journal... love ya!
Colleen did not die alone and heard every word. I know and believe this with all of my heart.
What a courageous little girl she IS and was and your prayers have been heard and they matter.
Such a tender and sweet journal about the light of your life, Colleen.
I know she is sorely missed by each of you and please take the most gentle care of yourself that you can. Your grief is so raw...
Loving care and healing (((hugs)))
XO Joanie
Such a beautiful journal of your love and answered prayers. So sad that Colleen spent so much time in the hospital but how wonderful to hear of the joy she brought to your lives. Thank you for sharing her story with us. You will be in my prayers as you grieve and heal. Blessings and Hugsxxxx.
This is beautiful. She is with God now and no longer suffering..hopefully that will bring you peace during your time of grieving. My prayers are with you my friend....hugs you gently...xoxo
Your journal brought tears to my eyes. As a mother also I am not sure I could have told my child to leave this world. You are a very brave and loving mother to show such courage to do this. The Lord knew you had taken good care of Colleen and he granted your request to take her home with him before you. She is now in his eternal care so you don\'t have to worry about her anymore. Some day you will be reunited.
Warm hugs, Patricia
That was a beautiful tribute to your daughter. Though, it was hard to let her go, she is now safe in the arms of Jesus.
Praying for your family
HUGS
Rosa
Again, I\'m so sorry for your loss. The history you wrote about your daughter was filled with so much love and your acceptance to turn her over to the Lord was the highlight of that love. One day you with both be reunited, and when that time comes, Colleen will be in perfect health.
My prayers and hugs continue for you and your family,
Dan
God bless u for the care u gave to Colleen. Hoping you and your family can have some peace in the knowledge she is not suffering anymore. I am grateful for the life of my girls and am glad they are not suffering anymore. Being the caregiver to a sick child is the most difficult task a parent can have.
So now that time of over and I am wishing you some peace. Love, Kathy