Relapse...oh,well

   Well, after 14 blissful days of being my old self, it hits again.   I woke up Sunday with the pains, the GID, all of it. I warned my family not to count on me, and basically spent the day sleeping as much as possible. Mentally, I did all I could not to start down the road of Anger ("What!!This AGAIN?!!Oh, S**T!!") and Guilt/Frustration ("I've got so much to do! I was going to play Monopoly with my daughter! What will everyone eat for dinner?!") because I found that if I do, I end up falling into the Pit of Total Despair.  So I tried to listen to my own advice and ride it through, treat it as if it were a bad case of the flu where you just cancel all your appointments, put your chores up on the shelf, and do whatever you can to get better. I pretty much succeeded, and while it was Bad, it wasn't Horrible.   Monday, I felt a little better physically, but was so worn out that the Emotions hit me. My ability to look on the good side and see all the success and wonderfulness I've done in my life, what I've accomplished and can accomplish...all took the day off. So the Negative Stuff -the Disappointments, Lack of Success, Lack of Friends, Absence of my Mom (especially since no one could fill my basic and now all-encompassing emotional needs like my Mom, who died of cancer in '91) and any subsequent stand-in, all the Guilt and Anger associated with Parenting, etc., etc.- all these things surrounded me and danced in a circle, poking at me with sharp sticks and laughing in my face. My aunt in MD tells me that I "should just ignore these thoughts, to think of nice things", but then her menopause was very mild, so she has no idea.   Once again, I followed my own advice: I didn't fight the depression, I just did what I could do to wade through it and GET through it, which meant spending the day going from room to room crying. Then I'd go to sleep. When I'd wake up, I'd have some yogurt so I could take my meds and vits, then I'd cry some more.  So now it's Tues. Most of the physical problems have diminished, although I'm tired and sore, but my mental and emotional state are recovering. (I was actually interested in what was in the paper this am and wasn't seething with anger while I fixed my kid's school lunch).   So once again, I came through. And today, I'll go out and treat myself to lunch somewhere where they'll bring me whatever I want and I don't have to clean up or do the dishes. And on the way home, I need to get some bread, 'cause we're out.   Thus, life goes on.    Here's to all of you ladies out there also going through hormonal s**t. Please be good to yourself because you've got enough on your plates without piling on guilt and anger. And if you feel it, DON'T feel bad about feeling it! Do what you need to do to get through it, then pick yourself up, and go treat yourself to something nice, because you deserve it. (Like I told someone at this website, I'll bet no MAN could survive what we go through!)   While you're at it, you'd better check and see if you need to get bread :)!!