relapse
wow looking at my old journal entry I feel a little better. ive had a lot of stress catch up with me, the worst of it relating to the grief from the passing of my father. my ocd and anxiety have become extremely difficult to deal with. I keep asking if im going to get better even though I know I will just like I did the first time. my father always helped me when I was sick so it makes me miss him even more when Im ill. this time around I have medication but It doesn't seem to be working like it should yet. im trying to have faith and just keep going the best I can. going to therapy didn't help bc of the therapist/student I had so I stopped going. I am however still doing the therapy on my own that I was taught the first time. I knew one day I might get sick or have a relapse and my father may not be around to help me but I didn't think I would be this bad. im lucky that I do have extended family and friends who care about me and support me the best they can. I just figured since I had already been through the worst of this that I would get better a lot faster. I think that frustrates me the most. I want to heal and my head doesn't seem want to. my father used to tell me that I would heal when I was ready and that I could not rush my body. im trying to be patient but I just don't want to feel bad anymore.
Replies
so its been another week and the celexa is now working like it should thank god. I was scared there for a few days. I feel much calmer and my ocd is a little better to handle. I still have most of my anxiety in the mornings. I really feel calmer and better at night. recently I had a friend pass away. I had panic over it and stress which is normal but it did help to put things in perspective.. my poor friend had cancer and had fought it for years. I starting thinking, here I am afraid to go places or touch things or continuously washing things and I get upset and feel like I don\'t want to live like this. and my friend had to deal with a disease that caused physical pain and tried whatever he could to keep it from taking him. I can beat the ocd, I can treat it and take medicine for it and live a normal life. thinking about all that helped me see things in a different light.