Relaxed.

I feel really relaxed right now. I really don't know what to do with myself when I'm relaxed. I'm so used to being anxious and everything. Just used to having to defend every inch of myself from everyone. It's hard to get used to not having to do that all the time. I'm used to not feeling anything but sadness and anxiety.
Usually when I do feel anxious I jump around and destroy things. Some of the things I destroy are my own things. But, some of it wasn't.