Recover (?)
The thought of stopping cutting scares me because I don't know any other way of coping. So if I stopped, I would probably go insane or turn into something worse than cutting, like alcohol.
I don't talk about issues. I'm not an "issue" kinda person. Everybody knows me for being funny and fun 24/7, I can't just go and tell them: "Oh, and by the way, I'm very depressed, very anxious and cutting is my way of coping". I can't do that.
I know this might sound stupid, but really, why is it so bad to cut?
Ok, it's not the most healthy way of coping, but not everyone is good at speaking up about their problems.
Sometimes it really bothers me when people say that "opening up and talking is the best way to deal with your problems". I mean, people are different and so are their ways of coping.
I'm not saying that I don't want to recover, but seriously, I don't think "talking and opening up" will get me there. And believe me, I've tried.
I don't talk about issues. I'm not an "issue" kinda person. Everybody knows me for being funny and fun 24/7, I can't just go and tell them: "Oh, and by the way, I'm very depressed, very anxious and cutting is my way of coping". I can't do that.
I know this might sound stupid, but really, why is it so bad to cut?
Ok, it's not the most healthy way of coping, but not everyone is good at speaking up about their problems.
Sometimes it really bothers me when people say that "opening up and talking is the best way to deal with your problems". I mean, people are different and so are their ways of coping.
I'm not saying that I don't want to recover, but seriously, I don't think "talking and opening up" will get me there. And believe me, I've tried.
Replies
You are afraid of being vulnerable. I get that. If you are going to become vulnerable, you will need to be vulnerable with people that have the capacity to meet you at your point of need.
I used to be very vulnerable when I was younger. I would speak up about my feeling to my family and friends all the time and it never helped, people always judged.
Even now when I talk to anyone about my feelings, I feel judged and I feel like every one pretends to care, when they actually don\'t.