Really hope things start getting better soon..

So... uh... I just read my last update.. and I swear there were not that many typos when I posted that.. xD 
I've been drinking a lil more.. And I'm VERY tempted to drink more, maybe not so much tequila and vodka.. but some beer.. with orange juice cause beer is terrible.. lol  
I've been feeling worse.. I've hardly left my room since new years day... and I've been avoiding talking to people a lot more... Things just feel so... wrong... I've never felt quite as alone and upset as I have lately... It's worse than ever... I talk on xbox a lil bit. But even then I really don't talk to people as much.. I feel like I'm losing myself more and more each day.. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to go on feeling like this... I feel soo broken and lost... Nothing feels okay anymore.... I'm so close to just giving up and letting go... Finally following through with suicide.... It takes everything in me to even get out of bed every day.. in fact, most of the time it's just to let my dogs outside or inside... >.< last night was one of the few nights I actually was out of my room and spent time with my family...and even then I was mostly sitting around messing with tarot cards... My being here just feels completely pointless... I talk to pretty much no one anymore, I don't go out and do stuff, I have no way to get a job or do anything.. I feel stuck and confused and just.. Really really crappy... I need consistency in my life right now.. I mean, I have consistent negativity and being stuck at home all the time.. But I need some kind of good, positive consistency for once... Whether it's going walking everyday/every other day. Or the gym. Or a friend keeping in contact and bringing more positivity to my life (without just trying to get laid or nudes...)  I need SOMETHING to bring a lil more light into this really crappy situation... I need to start by getting my room cleaned.... Maybe I should make that my goal.. Have my room cleaned by the end of the week or something...  Hmm.. Maybe... We'll see.. Anyways.. I think it's time to try taking a nap.. I haven't been sleeping well...