realized I was self medicating - but didn't lose sight of that

I feel really inspired right now. I want to share it with the world or my friends. :)

I had a very strange morning at work and then after work I went to get a haircut

and likewise it was pretty bizarre there. Didn't feel like myself and felt like I had lost

my ability to be social and be nice to my barber. It was strange. My heart was gone.

I came home but actually

before I came home I stopped by the Trader Joe's and bought some gelato, some macaroons,

and a bottle of Prosecco. For some reason today I just 'got' that I was self medicating (with the sweets and drink)

until 'time would heal' this strange feeling. And I knew in time - that I would mentally sort out

the confusion - though it felt awfully bad and like 'it' would never pass. 

But today I kind of realized what I was doing - and though the time is passing - it's like

a window in my mind has opened... telling me 'this is what I am doing with my day" - 

and though it's not the best way - or the most desired way to spend my day I feel nearly

at ease with the fact that I am sitting here, "creating" and not lost in an anxious miasma.

I decided to put on a load of laundry. It's telling me that it's "CLOTHES SOUP" today. Call "it" what you like.

I just feel like it seems like I am making a big pot of soup. Ha!

Sending big hugs and wishes that your weekends are going well.

Pax,

Mark