Real pain

I wish I didn't hurt, felt no pain, didn't feel anything, or just didn't have all these complications. My dad was admitted to BAMC yesterday around 11:30 am and has not gotten any better and I wish I could be there for my mom all night and day but the truth is I hurt. I came home a little after 9 pm last night after getting there at 8:30 because my back and left arm were hurting. José kept telling me we could stay longer but I felt I couldn't take it any longer I was starting to sit really slouched in the waiting area and I kept getting up to walk around very frequently. It's 4:23 am and my left arm, shoulder, and back are hurting but I have to be there with my mom and dad. It's been so hard because we can't believe how something so normal for him has turned into something so gray. My dad was chocking on his food and now because of the lack of oxygen his brain received he is intubated and basically in a vegetative state.  So I find myself with the pain of maybe losing my daddy in the next few days. Right now it's a little to much for me to handle I would be there all day and night if I could.