Ready for things to get better now.... ) :

My ex has been trying to get me back... Recently I got frustrated and told him he needs to stop because we are never getting back together.... Now  I feel bad.. but he is tagging me in stuff on fb saying I broke him... Posting status after status about how depressed he is and how bad it hurt him, and spams me with messages yet when I respond he barely even talks and is really upset... I feel horrible.. But, this kind of stuff is why I left him to begin with.. I can't keep doing this.. I understand he's hurt, but I've been telling him for months that it is over... This is making my anxiety 10x worse.. My depression is skyrocketing.. And now, to top it off, I have a loaded pistol in my room... Everything is so overwhelming.. And there's nothing I can do to make anything right.. He says it hurts him more to talk to me, but he insists on being friends... But honestly... I'm not sure if I want to be friends anymore.. He just makes me feel dumb, like I can't do anything right... And it's always been that way.. I don't think that will ever change... I'm just so tired of dealing with all of that and my family and everything.. I just want to disappear.... I need to get away from all of this.. I'm soo tired of not being able to breathe, think, feel anything other than pain... I can't seem to do anything other than hurt people and cause problems... And I am soo tired of it all....