Reaching My Stress Limit...
I can keep my head in almost any situation. I've been told all my life that I have alot of patience. But life at home has worn me thin. I am seriously at the point where I feel like my head is going to explode.
Marlow is cutting her third tooth, an eye tooth, and she is ridiculously cranky. She screams if she falls, she screams if a toy doesn't do what she wants, she screams if she gets in trouble, she screams for the hell of it! She won't eat, barely sleeps. That means I am getting three hours a night of sleep, plus, attempting for almost two hours every meal time to get food into her. She won't listen. She has been hitting the dogs lately and throwing toys in people's faces.
Plus, I watch my nephew, currently for free when I can't afford it, to help my little sister out. He's whiney, picky and mean. He's only three months older then Mar but acts younger. I was told this week I was needed only 1130am til 230am. Well, yesterday and today he was dropped off at 10, and yesterday he wasn't picked up until 330! Who knows about today. What if I had appointments?? It makes me mad too. I'm doing this to help, since I can't find a job. And they will start paying me if her lazy excuse for a boyfriend ever gets a job, but until then I feed him with our food. Her boyfriend never packs him milk, so I use ours. Or wipes, so I use ours.
But that's not the worst.
Joey is the worst. Seriously. I don't know what's gotten into him lately! We had a talk a month or so ago and I told him he had to shape up or I was gonna take Marlow and ship out. I was tired of being walked on. He got better, until I couldn't find a job. Now he's even more of an ass. And since my threat to leave is unrealistic unless I get some income he has stopped helping me.
I need a break from Marlow, and he always says 'here, I'll give you a break' and he takes her out of the room for ten minutes then deposits her back with me. Plus, he will not clean up after himself. I mean seriously, he's 25! Last night he made cookies, fine, whatever. I had my workout class so I'm gone for two hours. In that time all he really has to do is put Marlow to bed. But apparently that takes so much work that he can't do a single other thing. I came home from workout and went to bed, I didn't go into the kitchen. But I did this morning. Who the hell wants to wake up to that! He had cookie dough stuck to the counter, two dirty pans, Marlow's highchair tray that I had asked him to wipe off was sitting on the counter with beans dried on it and a spoon with cookie dough stuck to it. There were dishes in the sink, crumbs on the floor. The dishwasher was clean, but he couldn't be bothered to empty it and reload it. And when I get up he's already at work, and I can't leave it like that. Plus, when I get home, tired because I just worked out, the living room is always covered in Marlow's toys. It's a five minute clean up job. Usually there is dirty laundry slung around the house as he lets her get into anything she wants.
I'm so pissed off right now! It's like having another child. And when I confront him this afternoon, and I will, he will get all self righteous and angry. Somehow blaming me. My mum is coming over for supper and I have a cranky child, a soon to be cranky fiancee, and I'm cranky! Seriously!!
Marlow is cutting her third tooth, an eye tooth, and she is ridiculously cranky. She screams if she falls, she screams if a toy doesn't do what she wants, she screams if she gets in trouble, she screams for the hell of it! She won't eat, barely sleeps. That means I am getting three hours a night of sleep, plus, attempting for almost two hours every meal time to get food into her. She won't listen. She has been hitting the dogs lately and throwing toys in people's faces.
Plus, I watch my nephew, currently for free when I can't afford it, to help my little sister out. He's whiney, picky and mean. He's only three months older then Mar but acts younger. I was told this week I was needed only 1130am til 230am. Well, yesterday and today he was dropped off at 10, and yesterday he wasn't picked up until 330! Who knows about today. What if I had appointments?? It makes me mad too. I'm doing this to help, since I can't find a job. And they will start paying me if her lazy excuse for a boyfriend ever gets a job, but until then I feed him with our food. Her boyfriend never packs him milk, so I use ours. Or wipes, so I use ours.
But that's not the worst.
Joey is the worst. Seriously. I don't know what's gotten into him lately! We had a talk a month or so ago and I told him he had to shape up or I was gonna take Marlow and ship out. I was tired of being walked on. He got better, until I couldn't find a job. Now he's even more of an ass. And since my threat to leave is unrealistic unless I get some income he has stopped helping me.
I need a break from Marlow, and he always says 'here, I'll give you a break' and he takes her out of the room for ten minutes then deposits her back with me. Plus, he will not clean up after himself. I mean seriously, he's 25! Last night he made cookies, fine, whatever. I had my workout class so I'm gone for two hours. In that time all he really has to do is put Marlow to bed. But apparently that takes so much work that he can't do a single other thing. I came home from workout and went to bed, I didn't go into the kitchen. But I did this morning. Who the hell wants to wake up to that! He had cookie dough stuck to the counter, two dirty pans, Marlow's highchair tray that I had asked him to wipe off was sitting on the counter with beans dried on it and a spoon with cookie dough stuck to it. There were dishes in the sink, crumbs on the floor. The dishwasher was clean, but he couldn't be bothered to empty it and reload it. And when I get up he's already at work, and I can't leave it like that. Plus, when I get home, tired because I just worked out, the living room is always covered in Marlow's toys. It's a five minute clean up job. Usually there is dirty laundry slung around the house as he lets her get into anything she wants.
I'm so pissed off right now! It's like having another child. And when I confront him this afternoon, and I will, he will get all self righteous and angry. Somehow blaming me. My mum is coming over for supper and I have a cranky child, a soon to be cranky fiancee, and I'm cranky! Seriously!!
Replies
I\'m sorry to hear about what you\'re dealing with! I will say that I think most men just don\'t see what we see. When I come home the house always looks like a tornado hit it, mostly because he can\'t multi-task to clean up and take care of Rebecca at the same time. HOWEVER, not helping clean up is ridiculous. I\'m really sorry that I can\'t identify with that. My DH always helps. I go to bed at night and he\'s still up doing dishes and picking up toys. Granted, the deep cleaning and laundry is still my responsibility but he helps.
I know you\'re not asking for advice but I really think it\'s too much for you to be taking care of your nephew. I know you want to help because you\'re not working but you should just tell your sister that you\'ve got too much going on in your life right now to be doing what you\'re doing. Not to mention that she is taking advantage of you by not respecting your boundaries of timing everyday. It doesn\'t matter if you\'ve got something going on. She should respect the times that she gives you. And, you can\'t afford to take care of your family and hers, paying for his food and supplies to care for him is ridiculous if it\'s consistent and it\'s expected.
I know you\'ve posted before about getting counseling for you and your DH... have you thought about meeting with a pastor for counseling?
We actually aren\'t religious people. He believes in God but is unsure about much else. I actually renounced my faith when I was 13. I\'m open to having my mind changed, if a miracle were to happen I wouldn\'t count out the prescense of a bigger being, but no miracles have happened for me. As it stands I\'m an athiest. We need to go to our doc to get a referral to a counseller but our doc is booked up solid.
It\'s crazy with my nephew. My sister is good with times, it\'s her boyfriend whos not. I can\'t stand the man. He\'s in a course right now to get his class 1. The program is free as long as for the following year the only jobs you do are truck driving jobs. But he hasn\'t held a job for more then a week for the year they have been together. Her income is the only income, and it barely pays to keep a roof over their heads. I worry that if I say I can\'t do it anymore she will have to either pay for childcare she can\'t afford, or quit her job and then she will lose her home and not be able to feed her kid. I\'m going to talk to her about him when I see her next. She already knows I don\'t like him, for many many many reasons. And she keeps telling me when he goes to work they will pay me, she wants to pay me. But I don\'t know if I can keep it up for another month or two before he gets a job he will get fired from in a week.