reaching for spirituality

I am trying to patch up the negativite sense of things in my life that I feel this morning. I feel grateful

that you guys are all out there, having supported me in the past, which is a good reminder

that I am not alone - I find myself waking up this morning to a need for motivating

to embrace my life once again. I think some might call it - reinventing oneself...but

I think I will call it rediscovering... I don't know...I think with this gloomy kind of beast

inside - I feel like I have to validate myself anyway that I can to go forward without committing suicide.

I have to believe I have value - in whatever shape or form that may take. It's like the TV or entertainment world

of things....serves up fairy tale lives and sometimes we can get caught up in seeing our lives like that too.. only

to be made the wiser sometime later -- perhaps it's a good excercise to temper those conflicting realities with a sense

of acceptance and expectation for how to deal with the forces that influence us  - how to stay on target and to pick ourselves up again.

I seem so amorphous today but I will reach for the health giving things - like spirituality and friendships and remind myself of better things. :)