Re-wording

Unfortunately I just wrote most of my thoughts down in a message to Vivi25, so you'll not see them. Oh well... First, I am NOT obsessing. I have a different viewpoint. I am an Introvert by nature and one of the characteristics I have is the ability to focus, and an intensity of focus when I'm working on a problem that interests me. I have that trait and intensity and I see it as a positive element not a negative one.  Obsessions and compulsions are neurotic coping behaviors that do not get one's needs met, they do not address the issue that's causing the obsessions and compulsions, they avoid it. This is not the case here. I am learning and growing and progressing, it may be ugly, repetitive, appear that I'm fumbling, and I may keep failing a lot, but I am working to an end. I have a goal. I know I have a problem and I know it has a solution. I also believe I am getting closer to solving the problem. (Perhaps in a past life I had an incarnation as a Bulldog or Pitbull. Ha!) Another way to re-word part of yesterday's entry is in what I told Vivi25: All of my fears, stresses, anxieties, and pains are being caused by ME, nothing else. They're all about MY perceptions, of myself. I am the one choosing my feelings; consciously or unconsciously (mostly unconsciously at the moment). No one is making me feel the way I do about myself and my situation. It's all ME! (Knowing that does not in and of itself change anything, so the change is apt to be slow until I can take the time needed teach myself to apply it.) This is why the Detachment theory and this new Inner Bonding lessons are so important to learn to use; they teach taking responsibility for your feelings. It takes the blaming of everyone and everything else and puts the cause of feelings squarely where they are created, within our own minds. So I guess the co-dependent need to control is actually another projection of our inside (wounded child and core self) telling us what it wants for itself and us to do: learn to control our feelings through choice and release. One idea that I've chosen to address is that the "wounded self" is the part of my psyche that houses all of my anger, hurt, frightened, anxious, numb, or depressed parts. When I feel these feelings they are coming from the wounded child in me. I need to teach myself to welcome and embrace these feelings in order to address them. I need to treat my wounded child as I would any wounded child, with love and compassion. Talk to it. Console it. I have a right to feel those feelings, they have a purpose, they guide me to what I need to learn to do and not do. They give me the information I need to heal. Well...I've got some more healing to do, and I've got to face some things that I've been avoiding. I'll continue to post until I get this all worked out and as I learn more for a solution. Have a Great Day and Weekend  Rich