Rant

I have been anxious for the last few weeks,  About  this whole thing with my "friend" if u want to call her that anymore.

If I were her I would be concerned,  It's been four Year, Since she asked me to post (not going to)  She friended on facebook like 15 yrs ago, And just four yrs ago, I get can HE POST,  Like she was asking my mother.

I understand Facebook, The person You post to   has  (person's name too Person's name)  I don't understand why she waited just four Yrs to ask me if I can post, After 15 yrs of  Friendship on Facebook,  I even brought that up to my  therapist  (Who never gave me ant good practical advice,  All she really said, Was not to let these people get into Your mind)  And she thought that was odd to.

I'm afraid If I get on something, that will make me forget, And it will actually happen.

I know this mentaly disabled  guy's father felt so bad,  He bent over backwards, Just to cover this Shit up,  Job after job,  One didn't work, he got me another one,  Which I appericiate,  And it worked for probably 35 yrs,  But, I just started thinking about this when my friend asked me to post.

I wish I could just forget about this,  But, can see  this menaly disabled guys neices and nephiew herasing me,  Me saying,  Im going to do this one time (recite like the notes of the guitar on the neck, And them telling me to do it again and again, so I don't forget  (TRUST I WON'T FORGET, I'VE BEEN PLAYING GUITAR FOR 30YRS, AND TOOK LESSONS FOR 9)

And I recall thing's,  I'm Physically disabled,  And also have a minor learning disabilaty,  But somehow understand music,  And understand how to read it,  And what Leagends are.   Them assuming I have a mental illness.

Personaly,  I would like to disolve this friendship,  Then I would hear it from my parents  (I know 47yrs old, But sometimes feel their over-protective) Them saying, We've known these people for over 40yrs, Their our best friends,  We haven't seen them in God knows how long,  They never came over When I was Younger,  except, when their son wanted to reppremand, me for something,  Cause he felt like he had to be right about things  for a few years anyway.

And, concerned I might hear that song "don't worry, Be happy"  which is something we all need to remember, But, people can't help it, we worry about thing's,  Some  more then others,  It's a natural impalse in our phsychie, This guy, has always had the idea,  that  he can worry, But I can't,  He doesn't understand.

His parent's, (Mine too)  Have always tried to give him/me a fair chance at life,  This life is far from fare,  No parent want's to see their child suffer,  My paarent's have given me a good life,

I have my physical limitation's,  But, have tryed to treat me like  "normal" Just like my brother's and sister,  I just need a little extra help.

I understand what this guy wanted,  Someone to tease, and look to him, someone to jealous of him, A big brother, well, atleast he has a little sister,  Some people don't have that, Like my other friend that used to live across the street from me, she is an only-child, And know others on facebook, So, I'd consider myself lucky if i were him.