Random Update of Not So Epic Proportions
Well, life has been just peachy keen. Not really, but close enough that I can use such a silly phrase.
Work has picked up, after the visit to dad's grave I had a good cry(I don't actually all out cry that often, after my dad's death I went two years without a single tear), Joey and I have been doing okay.
But then splat, dum dee dummmmm. Marlow gets sick, so sick. I gave up sleep so I could stay with her all night long, holding her, giving her cool baths and dabbing her hottest spots with a cool cloth. So I could comfort her when she woke up screaming because the pain was too intense. I went from Tuesday morning at 10am until Wednesday night at 730pm without sleep. I was exhausted. I had been vomited on, and I wasn't feeling so great myself.
First, Joey blamed me for her getting sick. Like somehow I control the illness wand. Then, after I had layed her down Wednesday night I had crashed. She had woken up about three hours later, and instead of getting her and dealing with her, he wakes me up and pushes her at me. 'She's crying, she needs you.'
So, I've been awake for 33 hours, just gotten 3 hours of sleep, and he has the nerve to to wake me up for something so easy? I had her back in bed, no tears, and sleeping 15 minutes later. But guess what? Turns out three hours is the magic number nap and it took me another four hours to get past the brink again and crash.
Then today she falls, equal distance between Joey and I, and I don't immediatley reach for her. I didn't see what happened, and I don't like to baby her if she just falls on her caboose. And he snaps out. Starts calling me names in front of his sister, saying that I just sat there with a stupid look on my face and she could of been bleeding. I got mad, told him he was just as close as I was. And all he could say was I was the idiot who didn't move. I grabbed her, bit my tongue, and walked away.
Then he had to go on our roof via window to reattatch some soffit that blew off last night. I came into the room and asked why he didn't have his shoes on if he was going onto the roof. I was nice, kept my voice even. I made sure of it! And he snaps 'I put them outside so I didn't step all over the bed with my dirt shoes, I'm not as stupid as you I guess.' Once again he's itching for me to snap out at him. I told him that I didn't snap at him so he shouldn't snap at me. He snorted and crawled out the window, and I took a pot shot, I yelled that I should lock the window behind him.
Then I go out onto the deck to grab something and when I shut the door the latch got jostled and fell, locking me outside. So I knocked on the door. I could hear them talking loud as day. I yelled that I needed someone to let me in. No reply. Knock again. No reply. Yell. No reply. Knock three more times. Finally he decides to get up and see what I need. Then gets mad at me because it is apparentley my fault the lock slipped, plus, the other deck door was unlocked and I was magically meant to know that. He's the lock up nazi, and there is 'never a door unlocked when he is home' according to him.
Then....he has family down and I get that. But at 730pm he wants to go play poker with his dad and uncles and brother in law, and he want's me and Marlow to go with him. When I tell him no, he starts commenting on how I never want to do anything. How I'm a stuck up bitch and Im lazy. It's freaking late at night! Marlow's bedtime was in half hour! Then he tells me that if we go we will be home by 10 and no later. Right. It's almost midnight now and he's not home. But he doesn't seem to get that when she gets cranky he brushes it off and lets me deal with it. I wasn't going. And he threw a tantrum. I can only imagine the things he told his family.
So now I'm waiting for him to come home and resume his dire need to fight. Maybe I'll indulge him. Because now I feel like fighting! lol
Work has picked up, after the visit to dad's grave I had a good cry(I don't actually all out cry that often, after my dad's death I went two years without a single tear), Joey and I have been doing okay.
But then splat, dum dee dummmmm. Marlow gets sick, so sick. I gave up sleep so I could stay with her all night long, holding her, giving her cool baths and dabbing her hottest spots with a cool cloth. So I could comfort her when she woke up screaming because the pain was too intense. I went from Tuesday morning at 10am until Wednesday night at 730pm without sleep. I was exhausted. I had been vomited on, and I wasn't feeling so great myself.
First, Joey blamed me for her getting sick. Like somehow I control the illness wand. Then, after I had layed her down Wednesday night I had crashed. She had woken up about three hours later, and instead of getting her and dealing with her, he wakes me up and pushes her at me. 'She's crying, she needs you.'
So, I've been awake for 33 hours, just gotten 3 hours of sleep, and he has the nerve to to wake me up for something so easy? I had her back in bed, no tears, and sleeping 15 minutes later. But guess what? Turns out three hours is the magic number nap and it took me another four hours to get past the brink again and crash.
Then today she falls, equal distance between Joey and I, and I don't immediatley reach for her. I didn't see what happened, and I don't like to baby her if she just falls on her caboose. And he snaps out. Starts calling me names in front of his sister, saying that I just sat there with a stupid look on my face and she could of been bleeding. I got mad, told him he was just as close as I was. And all he could say was I was the idiot who didn't move. I grabbed her, bit my tongue, and walked away.
Then he had to go on our roof via window to reattatch some soffit that blew off last night. I came into the room and asked why he didn't have his shoes on if he was going onto the roof. I was nice, kept my voice even. I made sure of it! And he snaps 'I put them outside so I didn't step all over the bed with my dirt shoes, I'm not as stupid as you I guess.' Once again he's itching for me to snap out at him. I told him that I didn't snap at him so he shouldn't snap at me. He snorted and crawled out the window, and I took a pot shot, I yelled that I should lock the window behind him.
Then I go out onto the deck to grab something and when I shut the door the latch got jostled and fell, locking me outside. So I knocked on the door. I could hear them talking loud as day. I yelled that I needed someone to let me in. No reply. Knock again. No reply. Yell. No reply. Knock three more times. Finally he decides to get up and see what I need. Then gets mad at me because it is apparentley my fault the lock slipped, plus, the other deck door was unlocked and I was magically meant to know that. He's the lock up nazi, and there is 'never a door unlocked when he is home' according to him.
Then....he has family down and I get that. But at 730pm he wants to go play poker with his dad and uncles and brother in law, and he want's me and Marlow to go with him. When I tell him no, he starts commenting on how I never want to do anything. How I'm a stuck up bitch and Im lazy. It's freaking late at night! Marlow's bedtime was in half hour! Then he tells me that if we go we will be home by 10 and no later. Right. It's almost midnight now and he's not home. But he doesn't seem to get that when she gets cranky he brushes it off and lets me deal with it. I wasn't going. And he threw a tantrum. I can only imagine the things he told his family.
So now I'm waiting for him to come home and resume his dire need to fight. Maybe I'll indulge him. Because now I feel like fighting! lol
Replies
So sorry to hear that Marlow was sick. Poor little baby.
Sounds like Joey has some growing up to do. Sorry to say but I can\'t even imagine having someone like that. My husband has only even raised his voice to me twice in the 9 years we\'ve been together and it wasn\'t even AT me so much as in general. He has NO RIGHT to speak to you that way or call you names. Not only in front of other adults but he CANNOT belittle you in front of your daughter. She picks up on it and it\'s not right.
I hop eyou guys can resolve these things before she gets older and it realy is damaging.
I say that is a fight you need to get into!! Stand your ground - you deserve respect!
I\'m with rshovan. This is abuse, Jolene. I know you are exhausted, but something needs to be done some time, for Marlow\'s sake and yours. Have you and Joey ever had relationship counselling? It can really help. But I\'m guessing his reaction to this suggestion might not be so good. I know from reading your biography entries that you have had your fair share of abandonment and people letting you down, to put it mildly. The last thing you want is for Marlow\'s parents to break up so early in her life. And I bet Joey and his lovely family would fight you all the way for custody too. So I know this is a monumentally difficult issue for you to face.
You have spent your life caring for others and doing the work that others were responsible for doing but failed to do. I am sad for you and Marlow. I know Joey has his good points and he has been there for you alot in the past. I don\'t know why he is being so difficult, and it\'s not fair. I hope his behaviour changes soon.
I told him when he got home that I wouldn\'t stand for him behaving like that in front of others, including Marlow. I also told him in many not so nice words that I was getting tired of his shit and that he needed to get back to the doctor. One of his pills(for post-op kidney transplant) has massive effects on hormones, they warned him about it. But now I want to see if there is any other alternative pill, and see if that helps with the stupid moodiness.
Proud of you Jolene, well done!