random updatee

So it has been a real long time since i wrote an entry. Im up to 40mgs of prozac now..went down to 30 and up too 40 again because of my obsessions. I dont think it makes much of a difference tho and it just makes me kinda more anxious to be on more meds. My doc weanted to put me on another med as well but im sure i can do it on my own with the therapy im going to. hes so helpful and kind the problem is my minds been so all over the place lately ive been forgetting my appointments and i feel absolutelt terrible..im pretty sure this is the 3rd or 4th time ive done it and im so embarrased! I cant seem to focus on ANYTHING lately like im so in my own little world and I cant get out. Ive been so much better with anxiety but ill just randomly get panicy for no reason and start to feel on the verge of an attack. I start to obsess over my looks, school, dying sometimes still, being sick..lots of health anxiety. I have obsessions about my food where i eat it and such. Nothing im new too but its annoying none the less. right now i feel okay panic wise but i keep obsessing over why I cant focus and i keep forgetting about my therapist and other things. i really feel lke im in my own little world and just cant get out for some reason and im so embarrased to have to call and say i missed the appt again. I also dont feel as motivated as i used too. I dont feel like doing anything. I feel more lazy and just blah..but im not really depressed. I dont really know what I am. confused I guess...and really frustrated. I feel like i just dont wanna do anything..i dont know..im kinda ranting now its just so annoying. my mother found out from a friend that her son had gone to a neurologist and they took pet scans of his brain and did testing to find out what levels in the brain were off and everything and it was helpful. shes going to call up for me to see if they take our insurance or find one who does. Im praying this will really be a big help. tired of being randomly anxious and just obsessing over anything i can find to obsess about without controlling it everyday grrr! Im gonna try tocome on here more and update!