Ran into ES today
As I've stated before, I have no idea where ES is - whether still in our town or moved away. Today I had to go to the library to pick up some books that were on "hold" for me. I didn't realize this was the day but it is a special one there for the kids. Thank goodness they have a huge parking lot. Once a year they bring in all kinds of truck, etc, for the kids to see up close, experience, sit in, etc. It's a lot of fun and a learning experience. In previous years, I always took the kids. The only parking space was near the reserved trucks area. I got out of my car and looked over and there was ES with youngest GD. She's only 2 so she doesn't really know me well. I didn't know what to do but I saw him look at me so I waved, then he turned his back. I guess the other kids were busy in some of the trucks. When I came out, he was still in the same place, he looked, I waved, he turned his back and I drove away. It really hurt that all he would do is turn his back on me. But I guess that is all part of it. At least I know he is still in the area wherever.
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I am so sorry you had to go through that. I wonder what would have happened if you had walked over to him? Easy for me to suggest but I would find it very difficult to actually do. But, as you say , you know now that he hasn\'t left the area. You are in my prayers.
Wow how painful. I am so sorry that is heartwrenching. I have been praying all day for some relief from the pain I am feeling. Its hard when all you want is to be loved and love your family. I just do not understand it. Maybe that is why its so painful.. no reasoning..Prayers sent..
What an experience. I have no idea what I would have done in your place.
So sorry Whyonlychild! These moments haunt all of us after they happen. Nothing I have found makes the pain of such blatant \"in your face\" rejection less painful. For me these moments have strengthened me eventually as I put them in the \"what doesn\'t kill you makes you stronger\" part of my life with EC!
So sorry whyonlychild. I had something similar to that happen with ES two years ago. I cried for hours and hours. I\'m glad you could wave at them and even wave again. It takes strength to even do that. Blessings and hugs.
It is all part of the journey my friend. As odd as it seems they seem to enjoy the fact that they are hurting us BUT you know what they say \"what goes around, comes around\" and what will they say to their own kids when they just delete them like they deleted us? At least we can say we were good to our parents. And remember we are NOT alone but our EC are because for the most part refuse to accept there is a God because they have not had to lean on His strength but they will some day and that is when we will see them change. You just have to give them over to the Lord and move on. If I had not done that 10 years ago I would have been a basket case now but I walked away out of self preservation but left them ( my ED &GS & my son & 2 GC) with the Lord. Try it you will be glad that you did when you look back on your journey. love martha
I can only speak from my own experiences, but have to strongly agree with martha2014 that detaching 6 years ago and moving out of where our EC are living now was the best thing DH and I did for our sanity and emotional health. I am also glad we did this. But moving also has it\'s stresses and not everyone can leave jobs, or homes, or other family members who need them such as parents. For those who want to move and can\'t and have to stay and live with the constant stress of running into one of our EC like whyonlychild did today, my heart hurts for you!!
I\'m so sorry that you experienced this as well but I agree with both Martha2014 and lostall3... detaching and getting on with living is the only way forward. I tried to have an encounter with my ED and she just wouldn\'t... that was last January. Did meet in February and since there has been only one phone conversation. It\'s really horrible to be rejected but as Martha2014 said, what goes around comes back around. Eventually he will experience what he\'s inflicting on you. It\'s just plain mean and not only that he\'s being mean to his children in the process. If they haven\'t already seen it, they will one day. You have a history with your GC. They will remember things. It was very good and courageous of you to wave and to do it twice. Big hugs for you. Keep strong and know you\'re a good person.
I think if you would have walked up to him, he would have walked away, which would have been worse than the cold shoulder. You\'re handling it well. I got advice to smile and laugh and act like you have moved on and are doing well. Then when you can cry when you get home.
My ED just had a baby and I\'ve not heard anything directly. She called my youngest to tell her the cute things the baby is doing but I\'ve heard nothing. When I think about it, I get depressed. So I\'m just filling up my days with enjoyable stuff. My prayer to you Whyonlychild.