Puzzle Piece #2

Yesterday I was taking my weekly session at a personal training studio -- a chain called Fitness Together -- where I've had help working out for about three years now.  It's the summer months, so some of the trainers have vacation weeks or similar time off.
On this occasion my usual trainer happened to be on holiday, so I had one of the other trainers this week.  Her name is Samantha and I'd worked with her a few times before.  She likes to talk, which this time was to my advantage because there was nobody coming in behind me.
Just about all the trainers know about my depression issues, but Samantha from my experience has been the most open to letting me talk problems out.  So I spent the better part of 50 minutes working with her routine and letting her grill me about whatever.
Inevitably the worries I have with my "hobbies" (because they really haven't been up to now) came up.  I mentioned I've had games addictions a few times and feared they would come back even though I think I have a better hold on my priorities now.
Samantha pounced on that because she's been there, in her own way, and gave me a clue: "What you want to do isn't always what you need to do."
Example: She's addicted to exercise (really, she is.  It didn't come as much of a shock...she's a personal trainer after all).  She'd love to do it every day.  But as a result of that her body does sometimes feel like a ton of bricks from all the working out.  So she has days when she'd love to work but needs to rest instead.
Then she applied that to me, knowing how my study sessions have been going.  She explained that it's good I have a passion for legal stuff, but I need to start listening to my body for little hints that will tell me when it's time to pull up.
Only then did I realize that while it was good that I rallied to get caught back up once I realized I had serious holes in my notes the first week, it was also bad because in the process I had burned myself out -- thus the panic the last couple of weeks.  It doesn't really resolve what I'll do over the fall, but let's be honest...it would have been a tough time to start no matter what the circumstances were.
I gave her a hug at the end.  I had to.  She was there at the right time...and I'm one step closer.



Recently, I heard someone say something like \"Knowledge is in knowing, and wisdom is in doing.\" Sometimes, I get caught up in thinking about things so much that I don\'t have energy left to do them. Living in the present moment and not worrying too much about the destination has helped me lately. But, wherever you are and whatever you\'re doing, I feel it is important to practice being comfortable inside yourself. I constantly am reminding myself to just be, mentally, where I want to be, and let things happen as I continue to do things. Because the truth of it all is that with or without a degree or a hot body, you\'re going to be ok.

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