Putting 'me' first
I've decided to concentrate hard on getting my stress levels right down
I've pulled my juicer back out
Looked up good recipes for stress
Bought a lot of vitamins and health boosting stuff
Looked up relaxation exercises
Said 'no' to a few kind offers of a night out at our local bars, cinema offer.....just decided to Stay in and try and look after myself
Took a long walk in the sun on the beach with my dog
Visited my great aunt in the nursing home
And now am trying to plan my week to 'own' it.
I wish I could work out why I am having such violent nightmares
People (random) get murdered in them....they happen maybe once every 2 weeks and they are quite short but really frightening and unpleasant.
I'm always there and scared but it's not happening to me I'm watching but fearful for me. The people who die I don't know and sometimes it's in the future (different settings) and sometimes in the past.
I don't watch any scary tv programs
Wish I could work out what my sub conscious is trying to tell me.
I need to do gratitudes again
I am thankful for my amazing dog who keeps me fit and makes me walk for miles
I am thankful for lovely daughter
I am thankful for the roof over my head
I am thankful for nature the sun, the wind the rain....the autumn days...
The support from my friends on here, thank you x
I've pulled my juicer back out
Looked up good recipes for stress
Bought a lot of vitamins and health boosting stuff
Looked up relaxation exercises
Said 'no' to a few kind offers of a night out at our local bars, cinema offer.....just decided to Stay in and try and look after myself
Took a long walk in the sun on the beach with my dog
Visited my great aunt in the nursing home
And now am trying to plan my week to 'own' it.
I wish I could work out why I am having such violent nightmares
People (random) get murdered in them....they happen maybe once every 2 weeks and they are quite short but really frightening and unpleasant.
I'm always there and scared but it's not happening to me I'm watching but fearful for me. The people who die I don't know and sometimes it's in the future (different settings) and sometimes in the past.
I don't watch any scary tv programs
Wish I could work out what my sub conscious is trying to tell me.
I need to do gratitudes again
I am thankful for my amazing dog who keeps me fit and makes me walk for miles
I am thankful for lovely daughter
I am thankful for the roof over my head
I am thankful for nature the sun, the wind the rain....the autumn days...
The support from my friends on here, thank you x
Replies
Dreams, think they are about your feeling you have no control-the violent stuff expresses your emotional chaos at the moment. And it\'s unreined, causing havoc.You can only watch it. Reckon it\'s because you were the gobetween, the fixer for so long, and now you are trying to move away from that, but your fear is that unbridled chaos will happen if you do. It\'s just your subconscious conditioning. Because you are no longer letting your mum and sisters dominate and triangulate you, your subliminal fears about this are popping up in your dreams. Just let them run themselves out. They will. They are a sign you are getting your real self back. xxxxx
I agree with Pitstop\'s interpretation. Although I prefer mine in which perhaps you are Psychic and your dreams are like that TV show \"Medium\" (starring Patricia Arquette). Wow. Could be.
But given all the repression of emotion, the overfunctioning to take care of others, the need to fix everything... how can you not have dreams manifesting in the form of violence, murders, feeling out of control, being a bystander, just watching things unfold?
I\'m sorry you\'re having those dreams though. That would be the stuff that has me avoiding going to bed at night. Come to think of it, that\'s what I do -- avoid going to bed. Although at this point, my reasons are different. Several years ago (2004), I was terrified of going to bed because I was having anxiety attacks (either when trying to fall asleep or waking up with them) -- I was trying to work out some heavy duty stuff (my father had just died) and it was manifesting itself in my sleep. Horrible time. I slept with a light on.
Wondering if writing a gratitude list right before bedtime would be of help? When I was going through that really rough time, I kept a notebook under my other pillow (with a pen attached to it), so I could pull it out and write out my dream, or journal about whatever is weighing on my mind, to empty it before going to bed. I don\'t do that anymore -- but I do keep the notebook there -- because I never know when I\'m going to need to write something out.
I have come to rely on the support of my DS friends here as well and truly value your feedback. So, Thank You!
((Hugs))
PS: I love your self-care list...
Thank you.....yes, back to diary writing before bed! Xxxxxx
I like practicing daily gratitude. It didn\'t feel natural at first and sometimes I still forget to do it. It feels good when I do manage to make it a part of my day.
I wouldn\'t be surprised if your dreams are a manifestation of the emotions over what\'s going on in your life. I am guessing the dreams will continue to evolve as you resolve various issues. Nightmares are very unsettling - I hope they go away soon.
I like the healthy things you are doing. I drink a glass of carrot juice every morning. lol. I buy organic as much as I can. I\'m a vegetarian and I like eating like this. I don\'t meet many people interested in these things like I am.
Thank you BCP, I feel like my whole life needs a slow, steady overhaul. I really took control of my diet for three months and reaped the benefits. It\'s a lot harder in the winter months. I\'m trying to be the person I want to be....I\'m trying to be more focused and self disciplined and raise my self esteem. Yes, it\'s hard to find like minded people....a big problem for me xxx
I have been overhauling my own life too. I feel like I might appear to others as a chicken with her head cut off but surely there must be some method to my madness? lol.
People tend to feel uncomfortable with my \"healthiness\". I\'ve been a vegetarian for so long that it just feels comfortable. I feel physically and emotionally better when I take care of my health. I don\'t care what others think about it but I do really enjoy finding others who are interested in these things.
I\'m starting to learn that people are going to feel just as uncomfortable with my emotional \"healthiness\" too. That must be a big part of the reason for all this change feeling so uncomfortable. If we start avoiding \"toxic\" people and situations is that the uncomfortable equivalent to being in a smoky bar and refusing to smoke or drink any alcohol?
I think it is....
I dramatically changed where I was prepared to go for a night out about two years ago and a good friend or so it seemed just avoids me now. I prefer bars with live music or actual small music venues. I like cafes and quirky places....art galleries and creative events.. But unfortunately the \'place\' to go round here is a drunken high street full of bars... This friend now has a boyfriend who drinks 6 or 7 pints on a Friday night followed by 2 or 3 whiskies....not my kind of thing!
My way of thinking is that if I\'m true to me and where I like to go and then hopefully I\'ll meet more people like me!
That\'s kind of happened as I went to see a singer perform on my local circuit and now me and her have become friends. But it\'s a slow process. Like you BCP it\'s a lonely process, but maybe being true to yourself is?
This site certainly helps and motivates me. Xxx