Purgatory

   I've been crying on and off since yesterday. My third grader was complaining of a sore throat and I couldn't deal with it, so I went out in the yard while J took her to school. He came and talked sanely to me until I got over it (for now), then took me to a light breakfast and short walk. My GID was still acting up, so when we got home at noon, I put on the big patch and went to bed.   I woke up 30 minutes ago, with the stomach still turning, but emotionally not QUITE so bad (though I'm no means feeling good). Still sore all over, too.   I need another friend. The only one who is HERE with me who helps me is my husband. Today he was off work and didn't have a lot of running around to do. I go on this site a lot, but I really do need a friend and/or family member who can come over and provide responsible help and sanity. And there is no one. The only person who is able to pack it up and move out here is a manic depressive alcoholic who will, without meaning to, make things a thousand times worse. Everyone else is on the other coast and is dealing with their own things.   God, there it goes again. I called this entry "Purgatory" because I don't feel good, but I don't feel horrible (yet??), and I have no idea if I'll be better or worse when I wake up tomorrow. "Take it one day at a time" I've been told. I don't know; while I don't have much CHOICE, I'm finding the unsurety too iffy to deal with, ESPECIALLY since, when it IS bad, there's no one who can just come over and help me. Help me.    Oh, and money's not good enough to hire anyone for the job. In fact, J's gearing up to look for another job. If I wasn't so incapacitated by this f***ing menopause, I could get the comic strip started and help out financially*, but as it is, I'm lucky if I can orchestrate dinner and manage to smile at my child. I haven't touched the floor, and I'm not going to do it now.   I want this to stop. I NEED this to stop. And not in 5 years...I mean NOW. I, WE need this to end NOW.  *not to mention make my life be more than just domestic duties.