Psychological vs. Physiological & Physical

  Well, we had a GRAND time! If you read my last journal entry, we were getting ready to do our only get-out-of-town vacation for this summer (all two days and one night), and I'd woken up menopausal. I slept almost all the way to San Diego, and by the time we reached the motel and got unpacked, I was fine! For two days and one night, I didn't have to think about what I was going to make for dinner (and wasn't stuck with the clean-up), nor the laundry, nor whether the bathroom needed cleaning or any of that damned housewife shit. We enjoyed each other's company, saw things we hadn't seen before, and just had a grand old time! We arrived home late Friday, and after sleeping late on Saturday, we all spent the day cleaning and doing laundry, and Sunday we went out for the day (I forget what we did! Damn these hormones!). The rest of the week my nine-yr-old attended camp for the last week, and I WAS FINE!!   Yesterday and today, I woke up slightly menopausal, but I made a list of Promises for when this happens. Here it is:          I WILL NOT GET MAD.       I WILL NOT GET MAD AT FEELING PHYSICALLY BAD.       I WILL ACCEPT ANY PHYSICAL DISCOMFORT AND WILL DO WHAT IT TAKES         TO GET OVER THE SYMPTOMS WITHOUT GUILT.       I WILL NOT FALL INTO THE PIT OF DESPAIR.       I WILL REMEMBER THE GOOD THINGS I HAVE IN LIFE (LIKE MY HUSBAND AND         DAUGHTER, AND THE KITTIES AND THE GUINEA PIG AND THE GECKOS).       I WILL NOT OBSESS ABOUT MENOPAUSE AND BEING IN MENOPAUSE.      IF I CAN, I WILL GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. IF I'M FEELING TOO BAD, I WILL SLEEP OR CRY         THEN PUT ON SOME MUSIC OR MY FAVORITE MOVIES AND DISTRACT MYSELF.      I WILL TREAT BEING MENOPAUSAL LIKE HAVING A BAD COLD; SAY "OH, WELL. I'VE GOT          TO REST. I'LL DEAL WITH THINGS WHEN I FEEL BETTER."      I WILL WARN MY FAMILY IF I FEEL BAD AND I WILL NOT TAKE IT OUT ON THEM. I WILL      ALSO TELL THEM WHAT I NEED: A BIG HUG, SOME TIME ALONE, A MEAL OUT, ETC.    And....it's working. While I'm not feeling WONDERFUL, at least I'm not HORRIBLE.  Now.......how much of this is physical; maybe, after almost 3 years of this s**t, it's finally winding down (or at least, starting to), and how much of this is actually psychological?  One of the many things all the books suggest to do when in menopause is to cut down on the stress. But menopause itself brings on stress, so that coupled with the stress of dealing with everyday life, on top of the physical symptoms is basically a recipe for a couple days in hell. I know that when I'm in a Bad Episode, EVERY little thing becomes some Major Problem, a Crisis that I have to deal with, if am not directly responsible for. In my situation, having no family or close friends to help me just made everything so much more worse. True, I have my husband, but he's going through his own shit (a job he hates, being too old to start a new one, us needing the insurance, a 90 yr-old mother who's going to be needing taking care of soon, etc.), there's a point when I cannot expect him to come over and rub my back no matter how much I need it.   So maybe it's both. I do know that, for me, I do better, even if it's only a little, when I say "Oh, well, this day's shot. I'll just do the grocery shopping tomorrow and everyone will have tuna salad for dinner tonight", and do it without feeling mad and/or guilty.   I know where the anger comes from. Firstly, it's the horrible symptoms that, however biological, are unfair and unjustified. Secondly, it's the feeling of powerlessness and helplessness when hit by the symptoms. They take over and rule your life, they dictate what you can do when, and if you are going to be functional if not happy. And on top of that, there's no easy answer, since we're all different. Then, there's the duration: 5 - 15 years of this.  My darling husband agrees that if men got this, there would be a cure for now. He says that, considering how much suffering us women go through, there should be much more research dedicated to easing menopause symptoms (such as loss of libido). The last bit notwithstanding, did I pick a great guy or what?    Anyway, I hope this entry has been helpful to someone. Naturally, I don't want to be patronizing to any of you who are dealing with much more than just menopause. You ladies have enough shit to deal with, and because of that are already closer to the edge of despair and insanity than those of us whose lives are relatively calm. Menopause is just the little push that makes you topple and fall into the pit. I send you all whatever it takes for you to reach and utilize the great strength within you to deal with such calamities. I doubt that there are many men who can go through what we go through and survive, physically and mentally.   I mean, look how upset they get when they start losing a little hair! :)