Problems and solutions

I have had some specific things during all of this that caused me to hurt more or were hard to move past.  I have had a lot of great advice and encouragement, so I wanted to put it all in one place so that I could refer to it as needed :) Guilt that it may have been my fault -- If it was because of something I did, it was still God's will.  God wanted my daughter as an Angel, and if he didn't get her one way, it would have been another.  Nothing I did or did not do could change that.  I have to know in my heart that I gave her the best possible home for 32 weeks that I could, and that now she is with God in a perfect heaven as a perfect child. Worrying about next pregnancy -- Just as he did this time, God already knows what his plan is.  It was in his plan to have our daughter, and if it is his will in the future to have our next child he can do so as he chooses.  Worrying may only hurt the child becuase of stress, and will not change the outcome.  I will do everything that I can to ensure a safe pregnancy, but I will love the next child with all of my heart as long as God feels that I should have him or her in my life. Missing her -- The hour that I spend with my daughter was the best hour that I have had my entire life.  I would rather have had her for that hour than to never have had her in my life, so it is better to know her an miss her than to have not known her at all.  Also, she will always always be happy safe and healthy, and I could not have made sure of that if she stayed here with me.   I love you Ellison -- every minute of everyday.