Practice, Practice, Practice
I gave a talk severl years ago about a professional football star Joe Namath. For those of you who are younger than me and have no interest in football his name means nothing; however what I am going to share might be of interest.
Joe Namath was an All American Football Hall of Famer Quarterback (one of the best every) who played for the New Yorl Jets. When reading his bio one time, I found the what he had to say very helpful.
When he first became a quarterback he said he would practice and practice and practice. He would continually watch old games, workout harder, read plays over and over and over, watch other professional athletes, etc....Every day he would continue the practice wanting to improve him game.
One day on the field as he received the football from the hiker, he looked up and he said he could see what the defense was going to do, what the offense was going to do, in his words, "THE WINDOWS OF HEAVEN OPENED UP!"
The parallel to his story and my Spiritual Journey is pretty much the same. When I started my Spiritual Journey 32yrs. ago, I used to say (because we live in a fast pace world) I would "like an order to go please" and I would have all the answers I was seeking. Silly me, it didn't work that way. I have had MANY "WINDOWS OF HEAVEN OPENED UP" due to much practice. Practice awareness, practice, acceptance. practice self-awareness, practice forgiveness, practice changing my thoughts, practice surrendering, practice non-judgment, etc....Many, many, more. I am still practicing every day.
So, as with "Broadway Joe" I will continue to practice and "let go" of the belief that it's a "one time thing." It's Life and I am willing to learn/unlearn and enter into the game.
I write this because I see so many of you being so hard on yourself for not getting things right away (I too am like that at times) but we must remember each lesson is a process; and after one lesson, there is another and another and another....And, the practice will start all over again.
All of you are such a blessing to me...I am very grateful for this thing called Life!
Hugszzzz, Vicki
Joe Namath was an All American Football Hall of Famer Quarterback (one of the best every) who played for the New Yorl Jets. When reading his bio one time, I found the what he had to say very helpful.
When he first became a quarterback he said he would practice and practice and practice. He would continually watch old games, workout harder, read plays over and over and over, watch other professional athletes, etc....Every day he would continue the practice wanting to improve him game.
One day on the field as he received the football from the hiker, he looked up and he said he could see what the defense was going to do, what the offense was going to do, in his words, "THE WINDOWS OF HEAVEN OPENED UP!"
The parallel to his story and my Spiritual Journey is pretty much the same. When I started my Spiritual Journey 32yrs. ago, I used to say (because we live in a fast pace world) I would "like an order to go please" and I would have all the answers I was seeking. Silly me, it didn't work that way. I have had MANY "WINDOWS OF HEAVEN OPENED UP" due to much practice. Practice awareness, practice, acceptance. practice self-awareness, practice forgiveness, practice changing my thoughts, practice surrendering, practice non-judgment, etc....Many, many, more. I am still practicing every day.
So, as with "Broadway Joe" I will continue to practice and "let go" of the belief that it's a "one time thing." It's Life and I am willing to learn/unlearn and enter into the game.
I write this because I see so many of you being so hard on yourself for not getting things right away (I too am like that at times) but we must remember each lesson is a process; and after one lesson, there is another and another and another....And, the practice will start all over again.
All of you are such a blessing to me...I am very grateful for this thing called Life!
Hugszzzz, Vicki
Replies
This is wonderful Vicki! You are so right about the practice, practice, practice. And then just when we think we got everything worked out... practice some more :) Thank you for sharing this. I always appreciate your insight :)
Hi Vicki,
Me, too, this is very helpful for me. I go into that \"Here I go, again\" thinking. Yet, I just said the same words to another DS friend about communication. It is all about practice. So, I love this journal post. Thanks for sharing.
Hugs,
Shar
sometimes I get sick of all the lessons and I just want to throw in the towel. what if I don\'t want to play anymore? why do I have to pay for my family\'s sins? I see others who get ahead in life because they came from a foundation of loving. And then there\'s me, stuck in the muck, because I was unloved. And now I\'m expected to love myself? and learn the lessons again and again, which feel like punishment over and over again.
I see what you\'re saying. I understand your point. But it\'s way over there and I\'m way over here most days.
Thanks for continuing to share your experience, strength and hope. Maybe I\'ll figure myself out eventually.
((hugs))
i have been where you are talking about. i used to get pissed off that I was the one who was doing all this healing work and no one else did anything, i dropped to my knees 32yrs. ago because i wanted to spank my baby girl with a wooden spoon (still makes me cry) for basically no reason. i was simply going to do what had been done to me........my journey began.
i had to do something because i was rageful and full of self-hatred and...wanted to hurt someone.
it may not be fair amelah, but down the road, somewhere i began to feel moments of inner peace. that feeling was worth hanging in here...at one time, i wanted my parents to hurt, the people who molested me to hurt, etc.
somehow i let go of that and that was another moment of inner peace.
this is the cards we\'ve been delt and fair or unfair. i need to find a way out or i was going to hurt somebody or get hurt...so, the healing process, when it gets difficult, i think of how miserable i was...it\'s definitely a full time job, but moment of peace makes it worth it...hang in the kiddo.
here if you need anything.
hugs right back.
that\'s why I Lock my journals now. because I hurt too much and I don\'t need the condemnation of those who think I should get on with things when I\'m feeling what I\'m feeling. denied feelings way too long, then shamed for only feeling negative feelings. maybe this is who I am. people tell me I\'m a good daughter, a good friend, a good sister. but I just feel empty inside and no sense of satisfaction. the well is dry. and all I feel is bitterness sadness loneliness.
I have an acquaintance in the ICU. she has numerous visitors. at one point, 6 of us were there and we were chased out to the waiting room.
I have no one. Fact. When I needed to have a colonoscopy and later an endoscopy on separate occasions, my mother could not help and only yelled at me to get someone else to take me. Who was I to ask ? (I was not allowed to drive myself) She told me to take a bus. She yelled at me the whole ride home after my colonoscopy (in which I had a slamming headache and felt drowsy). I learned not to ask for her help again. I was terrified at having these procedures. But I had to ask a neighbor to take me to one. A friend\'s mother to take me to another. How embarrassing.
At least when I had the ultrasounds and breast biopsy, I didn\'t have to ask for a ride. but I was terrified and shaking and no one to hold my hand. I should not have been driving. I was thankful I had my cigarettes back then to be my companion and help my nerves.
When I threw my back out, no one was here to help me get off the floor. So I stayed on the floor until I could move again.
I see that acquaintance in the ICU and I think how lucky she is to have so many people in her life. She\'s a Narcissist; always seeking attention and adoration. And she gets rewarded for it. All my childhood, she put me down and chronically lied to me to make herself feel better. So I had to walk away from the abuse in my early 20s. Why does she still get rewarded for her bad behaviors?
Seriously.
If I were to wind up in the ICU, who would visit? my nastypants sister who micromanages me? who tells me what to say? how to think? I\'d rather die.
so I don\'t see why I\'m still here, being punished for something I did not do. Oddly enough, I keep reaching out. But the punishment is that I am apparently invisible and needy.
thanks for listening.
I am here for you Amy if you need a listening ear or a friend.
I do not know why she gets rewarded for her behaviors. In order to heal, the focus must become \"us\" not :them.\" Plus, you really don\'t know how she feels on the inside....
I used to feel so \"empty\" because I too was the good daughter, the good friend, the good whatever; always trying to please others and never, ever taking care of me...Once I started looking withing and taking care of me I began to feel better...This wasn\'t easy; a lot of guilt came in when I started taking care of me...I was not worth taking care of. But, I have found, taking care ourselves is the answer.
Healing begins with! I had a Mom like your and sisters like yours. I was accused of being a bitch many times...It wasn\'t easy getting thru all the murk, but it can be done...I still work on myself.
Again, I am here if you need anything.
Hugszzz, Vicki