Post Christmas Shopping

I am at home after doing some Christmas Shopping. 

Just enjoying the time of this Sunday right now as it passes by.

I often wonder at life, though I can't always give form to my wonderings, it's like

a reassurance though to somehow to check in with the nature of things...even when the bigger 

question looms of "what are we doing??" as the people of earth :) as we make our individual lives

unfold.

Life seems beautiful sometimes. I am reminded of things that give me peace but I can't

always have them in my life...but being reminded of them connects me to moments that

balance my mental health.

I don't know if I am meant to live solitary or mated. I have a big

family and some friends but I live alone and go to a family gathering once a week. I take solace and succor from

all my relationships and I think for now, whether there's a future of change ahead, I obviously I do live alone

so there's probably the honest consideration of that...

I like who I can be for my friends and family as well. 

In my solitude I find myself yearning, while I do my housework or readying for work or even 

when I sit on my couch watching television. ..and I wonder if we all have these yearnings in our lives with which we have to find a peace or a outlet manifestation.

Sometimes my yearnings have confused me and have made me feel alien.... the aspiration to constantly build on my life, on knowledge, wisdom or on the creation of works, whether they artworks or service.

I am not upset but maybe I can find peace by just living a life as well as I can, in focusing on what "I do" and do it carefully and well. 

And... yearning is something I will always do to drive me forward as it is but a part of being a human? 

Perhaps the nature of my condition makes me less grounded and immediately in touch with things that might seem

obvious to others...in the process of getting to know these questions and answers though, it has helped me find meaning

and comradery.