Possible Apartment Inspection Tomorrow
The depression is starting to lift. Tomorrow we have apartment inspection, and if my place gets chosen, well, they are just going to have to deal. The place isn't spotless, but it's good enough. It's not a festering pit of horrid stuff, so it's okay. I wish I had more time and energy to work on it, but I have to be okay with what I've done so far. I won't know unless I'm home or get a report if my apartment has been inspected. The investors are coming to check on their investment kind of inspection, see if things are working. I spent most of today either sleeping or cleaning. I slept from about 1:30am to 1pm off and on (mostly on, but with a bit awake here and there). I've been just a tad off with my pills. I've been taking them within 45 minutes of when I should, but it's still kinda bad that I'm off at all. I've been really good at taking them at 9:30pm but last night I didn't take them till almost 10 and tonight I just took them (before 10:15).
I'm tired still. The depression is still there, it's just not all encompassing like it was before. I don't have therapy tomorrow, I have it on Friday instead. I'm going to start seeing her on Fridays now. Fridays just work better for me, and I'm supposed to go see my friend Kenia who lives near my therapist. She hurt her toe, and she's stuck at home. She ripped of the nail on one of her toes on her table somehow. I don't want to see it, that's all I know lol. I'm going to talk to my therapist about the depression and see what she thinks. I think it's better now that I know the trigger for it (Father's day) and that I can try and figure out what to do to make it better. If there is anything I can do to make it better. If 14 years of not having a father around isn't enough, I don't know what could. They say time heals all wounds, but time hasn't healed this yet. Maybe I just need to wait more.
This year is going to be 15 years without my dad. He died in 1996, when I was 13. It sucks, and I was thinking on Father's day doing a memorial journal for him. It just depends on how I'm feeling that day. I do have to go over Geo's dad's house and hopefully it will go well. I think it will, I just have to be prepared. We have done things on Father's day before without a problem, I don't know why this year is harder on me than previous years. Maybe because I've been thinking about it more? It's hard when you don't have anything to do all day, more reasons why I have to start volunteering and get out of the house more. Being inside all day with nothing to do is a trap for depression, that's for sure. I just have to make more of an effort to get out
I didn't manage to get to the gym today, but I did clean the house pretty well, so I did get some exercise in. I cleaned the kitchen, the living and dining room, and the bedroom. Well, the bedroom I just mostly stuffed stuff into the closet, but I tried, dammit, and that's what counts. I still have more cleaning to do, but I will do it in the morning or when I can't sleep tonight. I'm going to take a klonopin soon just so I can fall asleep tonight. I don't know... I may or may not need it. I'm going to try lying down and see if I can fall asleep.
I'm tired still. The depression is still there, it's just not all encompassing like it was before. I don't have therapy tomorrow, I have it on Friday instead. I'm going to start seeing her on Fridays now. Fridays just work better for me, and I'm supposed to go see my friend Kenia who lives near my therapist. She hurt her toe, and she's stuck at home. She ripped of the nail on one of her toes on her table somehow. I don't want to see it, that's all I know lol. I'm going to talk to my therapist about the depression and see what she thinks. I think it's better now that I know the trigger for it (Father's day) and that I can try and figure out what to do to make it better. If there is anything I can do to make it better. If 14 years of not having a father around isn't enough, I don't know what could. They say time heals all wounds, but time hasn't healed this yet. Maybe I just need to wait more.
This year is going to be 15 years without my dad. He died in 1996, when I was 13. It sucks, and I was thinking on Father's day doing a memorial journal for him. It just depends on how I'm feeling that day. I do have to go over Geo's dad's house and hopefully it will go well. I think it will, I just have to be prepared. We have done things on Father's day before without a problem, I don't know why this year is harder on me than previous years. Maybe because I've been thinking about it more? It's hard when you don't have anything to do all day, more reasons why I have to start volunteering and get out of the house more. Being inside all day with nothing to do is a trap for depression, that's for sure. I just have to make more of an effort to get out
I didn't manage to get to the gym today, but I did clean the house pretty well, so I did get some exercise in. I cleaned the kitchen, the living and dining room, and the bedroom. Well, the bedroom I just mostly stuffed stuff into the closet, but I tried, dammit, and that's what counts. I still have more cleaning to do, but I will do it in the morning or when I can't sleep tonight. I'm going to take a klonopin soon just so I can fall asleep tonight. I don't know... I may or may not need it. I'm going to try lying down and see if I can fall asleep.
Replies
Good luck on your apartment inspection tomarrow if they pick yours. I used to have to go threw that years ago in an appartment ... i used to get so panicy even though i knew it was clean just couldnt help but think they would find something to complain about!
Holidays are very difficult when one of your parents passes away at a young age. I lost my mom when i was young and it is still really hard its been 25 yrs and still i think about it. A special journal on Fathers Day might really help... youre right just see how you feel about it when Sunday gets here.
Hope the depression continues to improve for ya. Hugggzzzz night
heres hoping the inspection goes good, im sure youll pass. happy to read you are less depressed and just see how it goes sunday, it will he hard, but sometimes i find the days leading up to an event you are more upset and grieving then the actual day. do you have a way to leave geos parents if you have to? hugss
I know you a starting to pull out of this depression, but it is still hard on you, take care of your self and let the thoughts of your dad do their healing. When we have found memories of a loved one, sometimes just thinking about them is the best medicine, getting lost in our thoughts can be healing for us, take the time to just sit back and enjoy the happy thoughts and memories of your dad. Take care and God Bless you.
It\'s a shame that the pool isn\'t kept up. Hope the inspection went well and that they see that the pool isn\'t up to par.
Have a good visit with the Therapist.