Positive ramblings. I am not complaining :)
Why am I so achy most of the time? Something is always hurting. I rarely have a whole day where I don't feel any aches at all. My foot has been giving me issues for a while...I'm getting it checked out sometime later this month or early next month. I can't right now because I just got my eyes checked. I've been struggling the past 10 years or so without my glasses, and the last few years, my eyes have been hurting more and I've been reading less. it's to the point now, because I'm in college and am a music major, that sometimes there are moments when I just have to close my eyes because they hurt or are so stressed........turns out, I am far sighted (I already knew that from 10 years ago) and I have astigmatism in both eyes. That's why my eyes have been giving me so much grief. Also, the doctor says when a patient gets to a 2, he recommends full time use of glasses, and I'm really close at like a 1.7 or 1.8 or so. It took a little more money out of my parents pockets than we anticipated because of the astigmatism. So in response, I have to wait to go to the doctor about my foot, because are insurance don't cover the co-payment anymore, and I wont get paid until like next week...and also, I'm going to finish paying on my tuition instead of my parents. This will help them a lot, and if I have enough, I'm going to take my check and go to the doctor.
Also, I start counseling this Thursday.....I am sooooooooooo nervous. I am starting with 30 minutes instead of 50..........I am very nervous, but I'm going to push it aside as much as I can, like always, and keep moving on :) I have a lot to do this semester........
The aches and pains may also be from stress and anxiety. I'm a percussionist and I take drum and piano lessons at the school......so that may have something to do with the pains I get in my wrists.....I get pains in my back at times (not extremely common though), a lot of pains in my legs, in my upper arms and shoulders, my teeth sometimes, my head, my eyes........my throat.........my mama says I'm worse than an old lady! LOL! :D But I'm going to get to the bottom of this. Hopefully with my healthier lifestyle, I will lose weight and also I will lose some of the pains and some stress....and also with therapy, I'm hoping A LOT of stress and anxiety disappears and so does A LOT of the pains. Also with my glasses, I hope my headaches and eye aches leaves......I'm just hoping that everything changes for the better before the summer break...............also.......another pain I feel that I hope changes....is my heart. I want to date........but nobody seems too interested.....I hope this changes as well......
I'm hopeful and I'm staying positive about this :) I'm going to work very hard to achieve this change!
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Also, I wrote some things in another journal when I was in a crappy mood.....I will work hard to never settle for someone that don't deserve me....nor will I ever sell my body.......I wont settle for anything less than true......HEALTHY love and affection! And that is a promise to God and to/for myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will find love one day, and it will be a healthy one!
Also, I start counseling this Thursday.....I am sooooooooooo nervous. I am starting with 30 minutes instead of 50..........I am very nervous, but I'm going to push it aside as much as I can, like always, and keep moving on :) I have a lot to do this semester........
The aches and pains may also be from stress and anxiety. I'm a percussionist and I take drum and piano lessons at the school......so that may have something to do with the pains I get in my wrists.....I get pains in my back at times (not extremely common though), a lot of pains in my legs, in my upper arms and shoulders, my teeth sometimes, my head, my eyes........my throat.........my mama says I'm worse than an old lady! LOL! :D But I'm going to get to the bottom of this. Hopefully with my healthier lifestyle, I will lose weight and also I will lose some of the pains and some stress....and also with therapy, I'm hoping A LOT of stress and anxiety disappears and so does A LOT of the pains. Also with my glasses, I hope my headaches and eye aches leaves......I'm just hoping that everything changes for the better before the summer break...............also.......another pain I feel that I hope changes....is my heart. I want to date........but nobody seems too interested.....I hope this changes as well......
I'm hopeful and I'm staying positive about this :) I'm going to work very hard to achieve this change!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Also, I wrote some things in another journal when I was in a crappy mood.....I will work hard to never settle for someone that don't deserve me....nor will I ever sell my body.......I wont settle for anything less than true......HEALTHY love and affection! And that is a promise to God and to/for myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will find love one day, and it will be a healthy one!
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