poor annie......

i've been upside down sick of late and sweet green eyed annie is sick again.

just left a msg for the mobile vet........then i will head to the bank for cash.  if you pay this mobile vet in cash it saves 20%, which is significant for veterinarian care.

her ears are all torn up again, she is hiding under the bed, not eating like usual........avoiding me, avoiding Rio........she started sleeping on top of the dresser which now holds the satellite box, a source of warmth for her is my presumption.  also found her sleeping behind the TV on top of the dresser, which is very odd?  did she feel to sick to go any further than a crawl off the dish box and just camp there?  poor annie........

i rested a lot prior to going to the 40th  Anniversary Dinner for my longtime employer.....former President George Bush kicked off the event........it's wonderful and humbling to see the growth of a company  over many years, to sit with the woman who was my biggest supporter when I first got back into the work world after a "raising babies break.".....she was the original administrator of the company - a real delightful smart lady......Sam took great care of me the whole evening.  i wasn't moving very well but i felt like i had shined up nice.......out of jammies and into low heeled navy pumps, a pretty dress, a navy lace jacket.......dangling earrings......hair all curly and shiny!  i'm home almost ALL THE TIME so to hear that my complexion is gorgeous or how incredible my eyes are is a bit overwhelming - surreal.......i rarely have regular conversation let alone compliments so it's hard to take that in......i just sit there and think "nuh uh.......huh......" and tend to move on like it never happened.  does that make any sense or do i sound like an idiot?

i saw so many old colleagues.....felt so happy to have been included.  i went over to talk to Al, my boss, the founder of our association, now dying of cancer......he is so tiny, i lightly patted his shoulder and felt his bones sticking out......made me think of a wounded bird i took care of once when i was 19 in santa barbara.........like the slightest breeze could take him away.......makes my heart hurt.

i couldn't talk long, cause i am an emotional kind of girl and could feel the tears threatening.  he's an unusual guy, a funny combination of energy and ideas, caring for family/a company that also feels like family.  love that man, respect him and reserve the right to be flabbergasted by things i know about him.......he told me he loved me and that was our good bye........i hugged him and returned to my table so he wouldn't see my tears. 

dinner was delicious, the awards were well presented and well accepted by engineering professionals from around the globe......the current president is from Ireland.....what a charmer!

after dinner i got really overheated....this happens to me when food has been cooked or prepared in a way that my body rejects hard.  i knew i didn't have much time, so i headed out of the ballroom to the ladies.........and didn't quite make it.  i made it into the handicapped stall but not to the toilet.......the stuff vaulted out of me.  i've only seen that once when sara was a baby and had scarlet fever.  it was a lot to handle.......my heart was pounding like mad.  it was awful.  really really awful.  i got sick six times in a row, thought i was ok then got sick again..........

the sinks wouldn't come on..........i HATE automatic sinks.  seriously......why don't they WORK as SINKS?"  sam and i left after that.....mary elise (a former colleague) went to get sam and off we went.......i made it to sam's house before i got sick again.  pretty good considering it was almost a full hour to get home.......a huge soccer event plus multiple other conferences and exhibits were all converged on the down town area.....traffic was CRAZY THICK.....chockful of vehicles EVERYWHERE!

ended up being up until six am, getting sick every 45 minutes or so all night till i think the polish off my toenails came up too...ok, that was really gross even for me.  why do i talk about this? cause i felt so alone and so sick and it was so hard.  i didn't cry cause i was too sick and worn out to cry......but i wanted too.  where is the "oh you poor baby comfort fairy" when you need her??????

stayed in bed til yesterday, got some groceries........that was very hard.  all of it, dressing, driving, shopping, coming back home.....putting things away.  wouldn't go out to day but i don't have very much cash and don't want to pay an additional $40 or $50 dollars cause of a lack of cash.  so that will be my big happy outing.

please pray for annie.........i'll be praying for you, sending out all the love i can plus any i can borrow too!