pocket lint

that's about all i got today.  i'm yer pocket lint. you're my huckleberry.
gonna try to stay out of my head........ignore miserable thoughts and do something pleasant.
maybe cook something, maybe watch something, maybe play something........or read.  maybe.
can't get back what is lost, can't find it no matter how many times i search my heart........gotta keep pressing forward.
i've been feeling critical and grumpy.......on the inside.  trying to find a way to keep looking up, pain levels are higher.......feel it, sick of my own company.  my clean sheets have now been waiting for a bedmaker to show up for the 4th day in a row.  right now i have a blanket thrown on top of the mattress and two throws do the top warming detail.  i got no steam to put the cotton on ......... every day i think today can i?  can i please?  i did manage to change the kitty litter, it was not a happy event.  but it is a completed better smelling result.  drove it down to the curb with the trash..........my mailbox was FULL to the brim with stuff.  mercy.
gonna cook some protein and shake off the rest..........slept late this morning, then slept from 1:30 - after 4 pm.........my heart wants to be a part of spring........imagine going to the store and coming home with azaleas to plant - being able to dig in the dirt.............i can't.......may as well dream of climbing a vast rockface ......both are beyond my can do levels........my heart still longs for dirt digging outside. 
self-talk:
hold on to the peace, keep refilling your cup of joy from the well and don't dwell too long on the stuff that makes you sadding........this is your now, ........it is ok........i promise it is.  it is ok.  rest in the safe branches of a tree - enjoy the view little bird.
 

Replies

mechellebelle
mechellebelle

Oh, I can SO relate girlfriend. you are lint, I am a soggy dish rag.
Hugs, hugs hugs. I am trying to stay out of my head also. despairing because I can\'t seem to get zip done around here. I want to LIVE, not REST all the blasted time. So, I guess you and I are in this together. At least we are not alone. We are alive, we have each other and our wonderful friends here. God loves us. We have a roof and food and a bed. I\'ve done the same thing as you with the bed and you know what? it was OK. no harm came from it. : ) In fact, I stopped making my bed (you know, like others do daily) unless someone is coming into my 2nd floor. no other reason to make it look pretty I can think of.
remember, God loves ya and so do I. praying that energy will rain down on both of us, soon!
DarlaC
DarlaC

Stay out of your widdle head, cook some protein, don\'t worry about the cotton. BE GRUMPY! Sometimes it feels good to just throw a chair!

Actually, I\'ve tried that. The thing was too heavy, I didn\'t want to break anything else, so I figured I\'d throw a lawn chair. By the time I planned out what a good stress reliever this method would be and got outside and tried to pick up the chair, I realized that I had forgotten why I thought this was a good idea in the first place.

I napped.

Smart choice!

Rest, sweet Sparrow! xo
carolmj
carolmj

Hey, do you suppose its a change of season thing? I complained to a friend just last week about how critical I found myself feeling about some ppl who really didn\'t deserve it!!! Aren\'t you glad that \"so far\", no one can broadcast our thinking to the four winds?
Funny how we all have our special comfort foods for such times as this!! I love to make FRESH fruit and yogurt smoothies with touch of honey. In our colder climate fresh fruit use to be a luxury, so I still feel like I\'m splurging when I can get it, even frozen turns my crank (anything that was never heated nor canned!)
Rusters
Rusters

Critical and grumpy? You? Well go girl and enjoy that! Good for the soul....let\'s get our hands dirty, k? xxoo
carolmj
carolmj

Here was something that spoke to me when I had the grumpies:
Posted on 04/04/13, 05:10 pm

April 4, 2013. You have been given two monumental things in God. First, you may stand very close and in unity with Him. Second, He hears you when you call to Him. Stop acting like an orphan with no parents. God is your parent when there is or never was another. People do weird things when they separate themselves from love and devotion. Never be among their number. Draw close to God and He will in turn draw close to you. He is already closer than you can imagine.
Psalm 4:3 (NASB) But know that the LORD has set apart the godly man for Himself; The LORD hears when I call to Him. Ras Robinson

April 4, 2013. Something is not exactly right. You aren\'t sure what it is. You have looked at it from different angles, but you don\'t yet see it. Don\'t worry, I will show you. Try to get this out of your mind and forget about it as much as you can. I am calling you to rest. Go to sleep. I will show you a picture in the middle of the night. When you awake, you will be rested and able to fix the problem, seeing it from the right perspective.

Psalms 16:7-8 (NASB) \"I will bless the Lord who has counseled me; Indeed, my mind instructs me in the night. I have set the Lord continually before me; Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.\" Bev Robinson



\"
KneeDeep
KneeDeep

Hugs for you Serce. Sometimes stuff just has to wait for the right time to get done. High pain levels would make Me very grumpy! Your journal reminded me I have got to put fresh sheets on my bed as well. If I were close I would help you in a heart beat! Love your writings and especially the last paragraph. Much Compassion and Hugs for you Serce. xo
Sunvalleygal
Sunvalleygal

I am so sorry that u are experiencing pain... I did like what u said about throwing a cup of water on a raging fire... I identify... And sometimes it takes off an edge that is so sharp. I struggle thru the changing of the seasons... that\'s been the biggy for me. Is it for you? Season changes are hard???
Take care little bird. U can enjoy spring. I told myself that today as I looked out my window b4 a nap... I thought \"I am a part bc I can see, hear , and taste spring in the air.... I don\'t have to be running a marathon to know it\'s spring\"... I wish you love.... O I did go visit the lady in the hosp today... her name is Janice and I just cried when I saw her bc her pain has relieved so much. I think I have been given another Divine Connection. xoxox
angellady
angellady

I\'m with you sweet sparrow, Ruthie my friend. My sister in faith, hope & love. When we hurt, we really hurt...inside & out. Things get to us so much more! Especially when the pain revs up. You are not alone. The Lord is with us protecting us from ourselves. He sees our tears, but he knows we must cry in order to feel. I\'m having a cup of tea...do you want a cup with me? If only, we could be there not only in spirit but in body for one another. My stinging has been so bad. Hubby & I stopped off at the store today & my leg has been hurting off & on. Do you have have this happen? My foot is numb but hurts like crazy?? Thank God it\'s not a steady pain. My internal shaking of my head has been waking me up allot lately. I think when I was taking the Plaquenil it let up for awhile. I did start back on the Placquenil this week, but instead of 2 pills I\'m taking one. What do you take for your pain? Sleep well...gentle hugs xoxo
Aquapuppy
Aquapuppy

All I can say is hugs, blessings, love and peace to you...today and always. Be gentle to yourself, Serce. I will bet better days are just ahead. Hugs!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Sounds like my bedding situation. I have an unusual size bed which I just purchased last year. Cost more than my 1st new car did in 1972 & has about as many features on it as my car did. Bought it in an attemept to help me sleep better - so far it has been a waste of money. Mine!!!

It is a \"Full XL\" which means it is the normal width of a full (54 in) but the same length as a queen or king (80 in). The queen size would have been another $1000. When did this stuff get so expensive?

That means I had to have special sheets & they are special in price as well. No $29.99 set at Wallyworld or anywhere else for that matter. Also had to special order them. Seems the salesman forgot to tell me that little item, too.

Anyway I just have the one set & it seems to be in one of three stages - (1) on my bed but in need of a washing (2) somewhere in my bedroom in need of being reapplied to my bed or (3) actually on my bed fresh from a washing.
As you can imagine that last one only happens about as often as a full moon.

These days I don\'t even apply the top sheet - just put on the fitted sheet & toss my comforter on top of it. Usually a break is needed during this process, such fun & games doing any work with fibro.

What have I learned from this journal & some of the replies: this old man is not by himself when it comes to bedmaking.

Best wishes to all.