"Please don't ask me..."
Please don't ask me if I'm over it yet. I'll never get over it. Please don't tell me he's in a better place. He's not here with me. Please don't say he isn't suffering any more. I haven't come to terms of why he had to suffer at all. Please don't tell me how you feel Unless you've lost someone in the same way. Please don't ask me if I feel better. Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up. Please don't tell me at least you had him for so many years. What year would you like your loved one to die? Please don't tell me God never gives us more than we can bear. Please just say you're sorry. Please just say you remember my loved one if you do. Please mention my loved one's name. Please be patient with me when I am sad. Please just let me cry. Unknown Author
Replies
hmmm this posted before I\'d finished writing. ok... well I was just going to say that it is a howl of pain we can relate to. Lifelong sorrow. I think I\'ll share it with my support group tomorrow. Oh, that\'s right, we\'re going to watch a video tomorrow. Have any of you seen it, called \"A Portrait of Hope\"? Will post something... after.
xoxoxoxo
I hate to hear \"he is in a better place\" and that \"he isn\'t suffering anymore\". I know people think they are kind words and that they are showing concern but....REALLY mention his name and recall a memory...better yet...pass along a photo for we will never have any new photos to add to our memory book. Share with your group and try and seek the good in the video. Hugs, Peggy
This says it all. I\'m adding it to my quotes to keep. Thank you for sharing so much from the core of your soul.
And who knows the whys and wherefores of DS technology. Twice is better than not at all!
Sending much, much love and big hugs to you and Andy ~ Debbie
Oh my goodness! This says it all. The thing that upsets me sometimes is when people do not bring up Lisa\'s name - I sometimes feel like everyone has forgotten her except me. Some of her friends do and I feel good when we talk about her.
Love and hugs to you and Andy.
Marlene
perfect......this gets it perfectly...the hurt the anger the bewilderment, the whole whole thing of it......
wishing comfort peace and love your way....
Spoken by someone who understands our incredible loss and heartache!
very true words and you do need to have lost someone to understand the pain never goes we just learn to put on that mask hugs angie x
I\'m sorry xxxxxx
Yep...
Filled with so much truth and wisdom. Oh, the memories and hearing our child\'s name spoken. That is where the healing lives. Just yesterday my dear sister said that she calls upon Douglas all the time for guidance and strength... It just made my heart soar to hear that...
Never over it, never through it, just trying to learn how to live with it.
Much love,
Joanie
The truth is, my April IS in a better place, I SAW her on October 23, a rare gift; the other truth is I want her HERE, whole, living her young life with joy. Should anyone ever say \"get over it\" I will most likely be arrested for assault. :o/
This is a loss we carry to our graves. \"Why\" is something we most likely won\'t truly understand until then, and then it won\'t matter, will it? No one can possibly understand who hasn\'t endured it. I know several in person mothers now who lost children. One lost a daughter at age 13 to leukemia 47 years ago. The anniversary was this past Monday. She still weeps, she\'s still bearing a wound, she will never forget. None of us will ever forget.
jill
Ah yes, grief can be compounded by \"well meaning\" remarks that are, well, \"mean\". I have experienced some real whoppers, some of that due to the taboo status of drug overdose.
My mantra has always been that there are no words...but I have sure known some butt holes who don\'t understand that concept.
Love and peace, Rebecca
All True. Thank you Sarah. I Love it so much when someone talks about Tamzin too, hearing his name and ANYthing about him, is the best feeling.
I thought of your Andy twice tonight, when my cousin\'s 2year old daughter was showing me her pyjamas with little owls on them and she was calling them (singing) a name that had the word \'Hootie\' in it. I wanted to tell you straightaway. And I only met Andy through you, Sarah. Thank you for sharing Andy with us all Sarah.
Now that young cousin wants me to give her lots of photos of Tamzin that I have on my computer.. And my Tamzin stories, that I wrote after he died. I am so happy she feels ready to look at them xxxx LOve, Kriss xxxx
No matter how many times I read that,,,I cry because they are all so true and happen to us all.
This journey sure is crappy!!
Please just say you\'re sorry. Please just say you remember my loved one if you do. Please mention my loved one\'s name. Please be patient with me when I am sad. Please just let me cry..
This says it all.. people act shocked sometimes when I mention Jenn casually in conversation... am I supposed to pretend she never existed for YOUR comfort?
thank you for sharing Sarah...
Hugs, MaryLou