Pizza, Purging, and Blood in the sink.
Today I did something I don't normally do.. I ate pizza. It was just one of those little personal pan pizzas from PizzaHut, but I still feel gross about it. I had planned to purge it, but then got a phone call and then my dad came home. So now I'm sitting at work, with a bunch of pizza and MountianDew in my stomach, and I'm not sure what to do next. Part of me still wants to go lock myself in a bathroom and purge, but part of me wants to force myself to keep it down. See, I'm quite scared. Last night after work I went home, locked myself in my room, and plurged. Then I went to the bathroom to wash up and finish in the sink (it had been a while since I ate and so the stuff was mostly liquid), but when I started to purge, I saw blood in it. I would start to purge up some clearish stuff and there would be streaks of red blood in it. I also purged early in the day yesterday, and in the middle of my purging, some of it came out pink. Some food came out one color, then there was a pink tink to it, then I started purging out the other things I had eaten which were a different color. I just figured at first it was something I had eaten.. but when I think of it.. I had cocao, and soup, and crackers. None of this was pink or red. It was brown or a muted yellowy tan color. So I wonder if that part in the middle had blood in it as well. I am trying to not purge today. I am scared of what is happening, I guess seeing the blood there in the sink makes this all the more real to me.
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