Picking up Pieces

Picking up the pieces with a week to go before fall classes start:
*  I'm starting to notice why I'm so quiet on the boards for the most part...usually I don't know what to say.  But it's also occuring to me that sometimes I'm just feeling so blue about myself that all I want to do is bitch, moan, and complain (please pardon the language).  I wish I could do better than I have been.
*  Fears about abusing fun stuff if I get into one of those moments just will not go away.  There is definitely an issue with a part of me that has trouble accepting that I can just be a hobbyist _______ . (fill in the blank with whatever you choose)
*  Starting to think I might to have to use a few journal entries to just talk about stuff that has haunted me over my life and just try to leave them here in the hopes that they'll eventually go away.  Not sure what else I can do.