photos
Today I spent some time sifting through old photos. Leslie's best friend and I are getting together tomorrow to do collages for the memorial service. I also looked through my laptop and phone and sent some to be printed out. My little girl. So long ago.
Her brother's birthday is the day after the memorial. Today I bought him a birthday card with a Batman sticker (they both loved superheroes) and tucked in some pics of him and Leslie through the years. "Happy Birthday--always remember your sister loved you" and signed it Leslie
We've had a lot of thunderstorms in the few days since Leslie died. I mentioned this to a friend today in an email and she answered "You do realize that's Leslie's way of saying "Hey Mama!""? That's a good thought. Les and I both always loved thunderstorms. I'll always think of her during thunderstorms.
I was wishing today that I could cry--I mean really cry. I've cried here and there, for short periods. I just want to spend a day in bed crying. I did that over my worthless, lying, cheating ex-partner. Why can't I do it for my daughter? I'm not sure it's totally sunk in yet that she's gone.
I miss you, girl
Replies
I believe without doubt, our kiddos find special and unique ways to "show up and say hi"! It happens so very often for so many of us! What a gift!! I'll think of your Les during thunderstorms from now on too, and I'll make sure to say HI LES!
Tight hugs too for your son. How very hard this must be for him as well. And to try to celebrate his birthday the day after Leslie's service...well, that's a tough one. Bless his heart!
I'm sure you're still in shock over the whole thing my friend, so please don't think you should this or that. Let it all flow organically. The tears come, the screams come, and the silent staring off into space comes. Just try to honor whatever it is you're feeling and how you're choosing to express those feelings. And take lots of deep breaths and slow exhales along the way~
Love and care,
Teri
I too will remember Les with you during those thunderstorms as our children each have their unique ways of popping in to remind us that they are with us forever.
You are feeling all that you need to even when you feel that you are not feeling if that makes sense. For me my path has many layers and as one was shed and or peeled back I had the chance to sit and BE with that until I needed a pause for a time and then another layer presented itself. In those very first days and weeks I felt as if every layer had been pulled back and my raw self was exposed and even a breeze hurt... Easy does it with your dear self and know that you are NOT alone and that you have found a community of care.
Hand in hand, Heart to heart,
XO Joanie
The beauty and power of a thunderstorm will now remind me of your dear Leslie. As others have mentioned, our kids get pretty creative as they reach out to their moms.
Thinking of you and your son at this heartbreaking time. Love, Linda, Ed's mom ♡