Photographs And Memories...

The old Jim Croce song... and what I'm feeling tonight. Taking the pictures out of the frames, ripping them up and probably going to burn them along with cards she gave me.  There are a lot more, I just need to find them so they too can go. The Cancun scrapbook, it's all got to go.
i just unfriended her on FB as I don't want to see anyone tagging her and having it come up. I need a clean break. God this fucking hurts but it's got to be done. I have to get rid of any physical shred of her existence in my life even though it shatters me to do so.  Twelve plus years, up in smoke or tossed in the trash - who would have seen this coming?
if I would have known how this would end, I would have stayed home that night and finished watching the game. I never would have made the trip to Merced.  I never would have met her. I never would have seen the sparkle of her eyes, her smile. I never would have felt her heart.  I never would have fallen head over heels in love. I never would have got to know Madyson. She is the only thing that I have got left out of this that I can count on. The love of a beautiful, intelligent, precious little girl that loves her grandpa as much as he loves her!!!!  I never would have lost another love that I thought, and was told, was eternal.  I never would have faced a heartbreak such as the one I'm facing now.  
i need to pull myself together.. I can't do anybody any good in my mindset now. What would D think if she saw me now in this state?  Not a good way to start a friendship. I need to see her face and smile knowing that there may be help on the horizon. I lost one good lady and was lucky enough to find another but now, I've lost her, too.  God, please let me win for once.  That's all I'm asking...