Phone calls
Today I made phone calls. My husband thinks I have closed myself up to the world since I stopped smoking. He says I need to start talking to people or else get out of the house because he thinks I am just too depressed. I guess he's right. I have secluded myself in this house since I stopped smoking because I don't want to fail. I think that if for any reason, I visit my dad (he's a chain smoker) I will want to smoke again and I can't take that chance right now. I don't trust myself. But I thought I might make a couple of calls and see how mad every one was. Well out of about 5 calls, I only talked to two people.
One person was my long time friend, and you know what? She has wanted some time to herself also, so she really didn't mind that I hadn't called or talked to her. Everyone else must be pissed off but at least they will see my number on their caller ID.
I cannot stress enough how long or how important it is to me to keep my quit. This is not a "hey, I've got nothing better to do" kind of thing. I made my children a promise. They didn't ask me to quit, I made the promise of my own free will, but I don't break promises.
Is this selfish of me? I quit drinking this way too. I couldn't be around people when they were drinking. It did take a couple of months, but hey, I'm sober 5 years and not missing it one bit, except for a couple of dreams where I was drinking in them. But hey, if I drink in my dreams, that's not really drinking right? I guess it's like cheating. Anyway, I am sober, smoke free, but extremely lonely and kind of hating it at the moment. I hope this goes away.
One person was my long time friend, and you know what? She has wanted some time to herself also, so she really didn't mind that I hadn't called or talked to her. Everyone else must be pissed off but at least they will see my number on their caller ID.
I cannot stress enough how long or how important it is to me to keep my quit. This is not a "hey, I've got nothing better to do" kind of thing. I made my children a promise. They didn't ask me to quit, I made the promise of my own free will, but I don't break promises.
Is this selfish of me? I quit drinking this way too. I couldn't be around people when they were drinking. It did take a couple of months, but hey, I'm sober 5 years and not missing it one bit, except for a couple of dreams where I was drinking in them. But hey, if I drink in my dreams, that's not really drinking right? I guess it's like cheating. Anyway, I am sober, smoke free, but extremely lonely and kind of hating it at the moment. I hope this goes away.
Replies