People say I'm so strong

I have had people tell me that I must be very strong to go through all that I have in my life, especially the last 26 months. Losing 2 husbands 19 months apart, working 2 jobs, going to school and making sure my family is taken care of.
I don't feel very strong, it's going on 8 months since I lost my dear Paul, I miss him so much. But it always feels like it just happened. It feels like a neverending pain, it takes every bit of strength that I can muster up to get through each day. It maybe another reason why I am going to work so hard at both jobs, school and taking care of my family. Hoping it might keep my mind occupied, so I don't feel so much pain, lonliness and scared of the thought of not feeling the true love and tendernessĀ that my dear Paul brought to my life.
I would do anything to have him backĀ in my arms, but I know everyone on here feels the same way. That is why this site has been such a blessing for me and to me. Being able to share my thoughts with people who know exactly what I am going through. I have had people tell me that they understand what I am going through. How can someone say they understand what I am going through something, when they have never gone through it.
I understand losing a parent is very hard, but next to losing a child, losing the true love of your life is the hardest.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Karen - You are so right, unless someone experiences this kind of loss, they can not really understand how you\'re feeling or what you\'re going through. That is one of the many reasons why DS is such a blessing.
You really are a strong person to keep pushing forward and handling so many responsibilities - you should be proud of yourself and I know that Paul is proud of the way that you are handling things.

Peace and hugs to you,
Chris