People say I'm so strong

I have had people tell me that I must be very strong to go through all that I have in my life, especially the last 26 months. Losing 2 husbands 19 months apart, working 2 jobs, going to school and making sure my family is taken care of.
I don't feel very strong, it's going on 8 months since I lost my dear Paul, I miss him so much. But it always feels like it just happened. It feels like a neverending pain, it takes every bit of strength that I can muster up to get through each day. It maybe another reason why I am going to work so hard at both jobs, school and taking care of my family. Hoping it might keep my mind occupied, so I don't feel so much pain, lonliness and scared of the thought of not feeling the true love and tenderness that my dear Paul brought to my life.
I would do anything to have him back in my arms, but I know everyone on here feels the same way. That is why this site has been such a blessing for me and to me. Being able to share my thoughts with people who know exactly what I am going through. I have had people tell me that they understand what I am going through. How can someone say they understand what I am going through something, when they have never gone through it.
I understand losing a parent is very hard, but next to losing a child, losing the true love of your life is the hardest.