people's drunken bullshit

I'm pissed off that if even have to write this. It was a good day. I got a lot done. I'm about to unwind before I go to bed. 2 fucking drunk people pissed me off today.
My ma who is just a complete asshole when she drinks. She's not necessarily horrible- just shitty. Like she gets this fucking snobby tone in her voice. My grandma (her ma) had it. Its a voice that when its used (no matter what actual words are spoken)- the message is clear- u r completely beneath me and everything u say is stupid and pathetic. She doesn't always say words that give that message- its the voice. My friend C has that voice. That snobby valley girl fucking horrible abomination of a voice. GRRR every time I hear it I'm transported back to being 8 and having everything I fucking do be an object of disgust w her. Good lord I would give anything to never hear any voice like that again. It infuriates me. No matter what she says its like she stops being my ma and turns into this nasty bitch I don't care to associate with- but she's still my ma and when she sobers up she won't act like this. I just fucking hate it.
I did end up getting some weed today- but I stayed sober and present the entire day even though I could have gotten high at about 2 pm. I was about to smoke then my ma pissed me off. I know what's up- if I smoke when I'm pissed off I'm gonna be great when I smoke and even more pissed off in the morning. Its a suppressant- so it suppresses emotions then they slap you in the face afterwards. I'm not playing that game anymore. I'm not escaping my negative emotions anymore- bc there is no true escape- they come back with a vengeance and hit u like a train. Or worse- u get so fucking bitter that you don't know who you are anymore. Neither will ever be my life again. When I'm upset I will write.

The other person that pissed me off- that was my friend- he was just being a dick- now that I got out all the stuff about my ma I don't even feel the need to go into what he said. He was just trippin- I pay him no mind when he gets like that