Peacefully alone
It gets really lonely sometimes here. Like I'm really stuck in my own separate world with no way out. So hard to imagine that there's anyone else out there besides me and my music and my dog. All I can really seen is the orange lamp gently shining over a messy desk and some half finished work. In some ways it really is peaceful. There's nothing to think about. Nothing to worry about. Just to sit here without any cares besides what I can see in front of me. But, it's also sad somehow. Maybe in the way that no one can really see me here or really be with me here without taking away that peacefulness. No one can feel it with me and draw with me or work with me. Maybe its because I'm too scared of people. Maybe that's just how it is.
I just wish someone would be able to see... to share my accomplishments and my failures and all my little relevations and musings.To realize that that may never happen is a dull sadness. Not some great aching depression, just a sigh and a resolution to keep going anyway.
Replies
I felt this deep in my soul. You put words to something I am feeling as well. I love the peacefulness of having so much time alone, but sometimes the loneliness can be overwhelming. I have some people in my life, but I'm so afraid to tell hardly any of them the truth about what I face on a daily basis. The lack of functionality can be so heartbreaking that I fear that if I speak it out into the air and it is ignored, it will hurt even more. Even in the crushing loneliness, it can be almost impossible to reach out. Just know that we are here for you if you want to share something. And we will do our best to be present with what's on your heart. I feel honored that you shared your thoughts. Thank you for that opening into your soul. Many blessings.