Peace!
i was thinking today about what i've written lately.
i've written of my growing feelings towards this place where i am living but
also about my conflicted feelings about the personal time
that isn't always as I'd like it to be.
in the spirit of the idea that there's a sacrifice for every choice we make in life,
I am thinking about the fact that i've seemed to miss the boat so often
when it comes to personal love (building a life together with a partner kind of love.)
The love here at the monastery is different - but there is love here,
communal love, pride of place and a feeling of family belonging.
the spirit of all pulling our weight for the good and functioning of the whole monastery
or helping those who can't due to an unforeseen
happening, until we all can again.
it's been coming to me over and over, while here, lately, that I need to have
a personal dream, to carry me through those times when the interpersonal
relationships here really bite with acidity. But again there is a security and pride of place here.
Anger or upset does not define the whole...
Many folks here seem to live in such specificity of relating to each other and with a boundary and attitude
of (i think) 'resolved service to the monastery' and yet also weathering the emotional bumps
that can happen interpersonally here. I'm learning to reinforce myself with that kind of thought of resolutino as well
and the power of self affirming myself here (again turning to the idea that I must have a personal dream or
perhaps a kind of pesonal resolution .)
I am also learning a greater sense of self reliance and I am finding myself
having resources within me to be more reliable in my own efforts to take care of life
and cognizant of and filled with the vision
of being able to build a life and all the parts make that up.
have a nice night!! Peace!
Replies
Hola Marcos,
Here with you …. reading & sipping my coffee. My words are not so good today but I just wanted you to know I’m listening
Buenas Noches
Big hugs to you and Blue from me and Baby <3 <3 <3
* oh also I just read your other journal & hope your back feels better
Also think of "building momentum" believe it or not small things can add up to big things
you are sounding like a questioner in danger of balance.
way to do the do, marky pooh.
Thanks guys!!!
Sounds like you are feeling more confident, but want a goal to work towards. I can't counsel you on that, but I hope you can explore some things and find it. Have a good day Mark.
Thanks Becky!