Part 2, the disaster has happened :(

It didn't take long for today to become the disaster that I feared. This morning, I was washing the coffee carafe with the breakfast dishes. My attention went poopsie for one moment, as it has a lot because I haven't been sleeping well, and SMASH!

The carafe was no more. It basically exploded on impact. I only got a couple of minor cuts, but I've been inconsolable since. Anything that could promote my current view of myself is dangerous right now, and that view is as dark as it gets from an intelligence standpoint. It has actually gotten to the point where mother has conceded that for all practical purposes the house is upside down because it's the same reaction my dad would have, just in a different form. He gets pissy, my morale goes to the dogs. Not much difference between the two.

Did I mention I've breakdowns twice today about this?

It looks like my seroquel dose needs a boost, hopefully I can do that before summer semester starts next week. But somehow, it also feels like it's going to take a lot more than that, as in someone here (anyone at this point) better have the patience of a saint, because no med in the world will resolve these self-esteem problems on their own.

It's going to be a long week.... :'(