Part 2 of today's entry
Yesterday I conceded that I can't do much without wishing I had done something else. What's really sad is that this applies to my interests, too.
I guess part of it is that I don't want to be good at just one thing. There's this feeling that runs through me that I should be good at everything. So when I start something, it's not long before this proverbial devil catches me and sets off a chain reaction when I have probably five or six interests at once...too many for me.
But since I have to keep my brain occupied -- I'm naturally cynical and self-pessimistic otherwise -- I tend to lean towards a lot of brainy stuff hoping to keep my noggin off guard. Non-fiction books. Chess. Puzzles. Tetris and some of its variations. Scrabble. Trading card games like Ederon (online only) and Yu-Gi-Oh. Turn-based strategy like Advance Wars. But nothing has held me over for long.
The problem is that when I like something, the tendency has been to ask, "so what else is out there?" On that facet, I'm so weak it's pathetic...I was barely two weeks into playing Ederon on a hobbyist basis before I wanted what other TCGs there were, and the only out I saw -- as usual -- was to just simply stop playing and never go back. And that's just the most recent example.
If you've read both of today's entries, you've probably figured out by now that I'm going into a very stressful time period with no safe ways to unwind. Some kind of disaster has to happen with this setup. It has to. And I'm going to deserve it whatever it happens to be.
I guess part of it is that I don't want to be good at just one thing. There's this feeling that runs through me that I should be good at everything. So when I start something, it's not long before this proverbial devil catches me and sets off a chain reaction when I have probably five or six interests at once...too many for me.
But since I have to keep my brain occupied -- I'm naturally cynical and self-pessimistic otherwise -- I tend to lean towards a lot of brainy stuff hoping to keep my noggin off guard. Non-fiction books. Chess. Puzzles. Tetris and some of its variations. Scrabble. Trading card games like Ederon (online only) and Yu-Gi-Oh. Turn-based strategy like Advance Wars. But nothing has held me over for long.
The problem is that when I like something, the tendency has been to ask, "so what else is out there?" On that facet, I'm so weak it's pathetic...I was barely two weeks into playing Ederon on a hobbyist basis before I wanted what other TCGs there were, and the only out I saw -- as usual -- was to just simply stop playing and never go back. And that's just the most recent example.
If you've read both of today's entries, you've probably figured out by now that I'm going into a very stressful time period with no safe ways to unwind. Some kind of disaster has to happen with this setup. It has to. And I'm going to deserve it whatever it happens to be.
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