Parents
I think I get it now, kind of. My parents are set in their ways and their culture. And the way they were raised. There are certain things they will never do. there are certain things they will never understand.
I might as well stop wasting my breath blaming everything on them. Getting frustrated over their actions. Getting hurt over their actions. They’re rude. They’re not supportive. That’s all.
I can’t keep dreaming for a “normal” life. I can’t keep hoping and wishing that there’re some nice and understanding people under their mean exteriors. I’m alone here. With my family.
But I’m not alone elsewhere. I have friends. Supporters. I have a choice on who I listen to and dedicate time to.
I’m not “weak” for feeling the way I feel. I can’t beat my emotions away. I can’t suppress them healthily. I have to deal with them. I have to support myself. I have to have support. It’s okay to feel terrible. It’s not “weak”, it’s not “needy”, it’s not “moody”. No matter what anyone says. That goes to whoever’s reading this too.
Replies
Yeah, I remember when I finally figured out my parents were human. It's a weird feeling because they seemed so powerful when you were small, but then you see them in all of their vulnerabilities and mistakes and you realize that they are human too. I've come to understand that my parents will not change and no amount of arguing or crying is going to make that happen. So, now, it's an issue of being myself and trying to keep my boundaries in place for when the dysfunction gets too crazy. Good for you. You're figuring it out early. Much love.
It's hard, coming to this conclusion. But, it's healthy and a big sign of growth for you. I'm so glad you have friends and people who support you. You won't always be with your parents. Pretty soon you'll be the master of your life. :-) And you're absolutely right. It's ok to feel however you feel. It's important to feel our feelings so we can release them and move on. It's not weak, needy or moody. You are probably in a grieving process and its critical to feel all the feelings that go along with loss. And this is a big loss - nothing having the kind of parents we wished & hoped for and surely deserve. Gentle healing hugs to you as you move thru this. oxo
very true, I am glad that u are seeing things for what they are, and accepting them as is, u sound much better xox