parents
I have family asking me what they can do to help. It feels as though an answer from me begins a place where I become some middle person. Don't want this so I remind people to consult Mom. At this point, she is spry enough to handle saying what her needs are. Hearing "let us know if you need anything"makes me wonder if people consider the tasks of their own lives and how they need to be accomplished when saying something like this. Such as, cleaning. Laundry. Food store. This is so organized by local communities and serves as a great example of how/what to do something for someone. What people are willing to do or not is really questionable. One perspective for my family is that I have taken care of most things for years. So, guess brothers and sisters plus their children are in the habit of doing nothing. Neither parent is easier than the other for me but Mom runs the show in her way. So, I deal with her most of the time. And we are close to a point. My parents don't trust their other children for some reason and I have never asked why. Not going to either!! I would love to have the help from anyone (family or not)though truthfully. My health needs have taken a toll on me and it is hard to manage simple things on random days. Glad to have meds to help manage but there are side-effects which have changed a lot of my mobility. At some point, when the parents are less able to keep track of things going on around them, I will have help getting to some of the rountine. Cheers
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That saying, \'The straw that broke the camels back\', there does come a time when a person just has to say, No More. There are so many parts to a \'problem\', we want to do everything we can but it\'s not possible. Delegate! Tactfully in bits and pieces ask for help but in a way that people don\'t think they are being made to do something. You can\'t go on until you collapse. Can some of your family do anything to help? Maybe some small tasks, or shopping for food.
it is hard to delegate when all the stress is going on... such a blessing if someone else would take over that position! but if you made a list of things needed, then when someone asked, you would just not have to think, you could pull out the list and say well here are the things what could you do? that helps you and them. and it helps you to focus and see what is needed in the next weeks to get done by you if you can\'t find someone to do it. please don\'t try to be a hero, and get ill yourself... later on you will guilt yourself over that because you were unable to be there emotionally for them. people do want to help, they are unable to cross the line and take over, usually. hang it there.... you can do this !!!