Papwork BC Medical & my unbearable loss

BC Medical is mandatory for those of us living in BC, Canada.  I wasn't working and was on my late-husband's medical.  I applied for Premium Assistance and they confirmed I was on it.  I just got my bill today.  I wrote them a letter saying I was on Premium Assistance and did I have to pay the bill, which I attached to the letter and their letter confirming I was on Premium Assistance.  I feel like what is the point to all this and I wish I were dead as well.  I think my late-husband got off easy by not being here anymore.  I miss him so much and it's not fair we are left having to deal with all this while we are mourning the unbearable loss  Life just doesn't seem worth living anymore.  What is the point anyway?  Frustrated and hurting very much.